Unleashed
by Dark Star of Chaos
Summary: Starscream always thought that he would rather die than be reprogrammed. So when his worst nightmare comes true, all he wants is to escape. But the situation isn't what it seems, and a secret plot threatens to throw the Decepticons into upheaval. Before all is said and done, loyalties will be tested, choices will be made, and nothing will ever be the same.
1. Freedom Lost

**This is something I've been thinking about for awhile, but I only recently figured out the beginning. For the purpose of this story, the Robo-Smasher was a hoax. Also, I wanted to say that I don't hate Soundwave. He's actually one of my favorite Decepticons. But he does do some pretty bad things here, so feel free to hate him yourselves.**

**Warning: This story contains hacking, which is considered by some to be a form of transformer rape. If you are one of them, and don't like or can't handle rape, you may not want to read this story. If you do, proceed with caution.**

* * *

The last thing any of the Decepticons wanted to hear after an energy raid gone wrong was Starscream and Megatron arguing again. Unfortunately, if predictably, they were doing just that.

Soundwave's unseen face was set in a dark frown as he watched his superiors hurl abuse at each other. He really wished Starscream would stop using the Command Center for these confrontations. He knew that wouldn't happen though, because the purpose of these verbal attacks was to reduce the Decepticons' respect for their leader. Thus, the need for an audience.

It was shameful how easily Starscream let his obsessions override his common sense. Past experience should have taught him that discrediting Megatron would only lead to infighting as other Decepticons tried to take command. Starscream was smart enough to know that, but he was so focused on dethroning Megatron that he seemed to ignore what effect it would have.

Not that words alone would ever bring down Megatron. His followers ranged from completely loyal to biding their time, while some didn't care who was leader. It helped that no one really listened to Starscream anyway, even when he was right. The only reason Soundwave reached for the red and silver Seeker's mind now was to make sure he didn't try anything stupid. He was more useful alive, and the telepath was tired of using suggestion to keep Megatron from killing him.

It had been a long time since Soundwave could dig freely through the flier's mind, but Starscream's emotional state seemed to be typical for the situation. He was almost always angry, and a mix of hatred and fear was normal when he was around Megatron. The nervous suspicion was more out of place, but even that was explainable. Lately Megatron had been looking into a new way to keep Starscream under control, and the Seeker was rather observant. He knew something was different, even if he didn't know what, and it was making him cautious. The odds of him doing something regrettable were almost non-existant.

Any other mech would have relaxed then, but Soundwave knew better. "Almost" wasn't good enough with Starscream; he was so emotional that he regularly defied logic, and so impulsive that even Soundwave didn't always know what he would do until he did it. That spontaneity made him dangerous, especially since no one, Autobot or Decepticon, took him seriously.

No one except Soundwave. There was more to Starscream than an abrasive personality and a thirst for power, though to be honest, it was in Soundwave's favor for others to think differently. Especially Megatron, who had been carefully led to believe that Starscream was delusional and unbalanced. It was an illusion that had saved the Seeker's life many times when his treachery could otherwise have been a death sentence.

Keeping Starscream alive would be a lot easier once Soundwave was allowed to... _adjust_ his programming a bit. It was an extreme method of controlling the Seeker, but it was also the most likely to work. All he needed to do was convince Megatron, which wouldn't be hard after this confrontation.

Soundwave narrowed his optics behind his visor, watching in silence as the argument turned physical. One blow brought Starscream to the floor, and as usual, the Seeker was quick to back down. But his face twisted into a snarl after Megatron turned away, and for a moment it seemed like he would try to shoot his leader in the back again. Instead he climbed to his feet, directing his gaze to the Decepticons who had been watching the latest fight, then glaring after Megatron.

"I'm beginning to think you don't _want_ this war to end," he snapped, jabbing a finger at the larger mech. "You've had plenty of chances to kill Prime just since we wound up on this planet, but you never do! If you're such a wonderful leader, Megatron, then why is Optimus Prime still alive?"

"As usual, you speak of things you don't understand," Megatron said coldly. "You're a greater fool than I thought if you truly believe killing Prime would end this war."

"Then why are you so obsessed with him?" Starscream demanded. "You're the leader! You should be defeating Autobots, not wasting time on some stupid rivalry!"

"Perhaps you should take your own advice, Starscream. You would be more useful." Ignoring his Second's indignant squawk he added, "Soundwave, come with me," and headed from the room. Soundwave followed without complaint, but he made a sweep of the assembled minds as he left. Finding nothing to suggest that Starscram's words had affected the other Decepticons in the slightest, he then put the incident from his own mind.

The pair walked in silence until they reached Megatron's office, which was large, but mostly empty. A single chair behind a steel desk was the extent of the furnishings, while a wide window in the far wall gave a view of the dark water outside. It was to the window that Megatron walked, and to the window he spoke, though it was his Third-in-Command he addressed.

"I've given your proposal much thought, Soundwave. But while I agree Starscream would be easier to deal with if he was reprogrammed, I have to question whether he would still be able to carry out his duties as my Second. He's effective when he wants to be, and I don't need another Skywarp."

There was a hard note in his voice that warned Soundwave to answer carefully if he wanted this to go in his favor. Venting a hidden sigh he said, "Starscream's effectiveness would not be compromised. Suggestion: program him to obey you. Lay down rules to limit his behavior, but give him permission to act freely within those perimeters."

Megatron frowned, his expression clearly reflected in the window. "Can't you just remove his rebelliousness entirely?"

"Negative. Rebellion is a spark trait."

From the look on his face Megatron had only a vague idea of what that meant, but he didn't question it. He merely turned to Soundwave and nodded. "Do it tonight then," he said. "But remember, I don't need a glorified drone."

Soundwave inclined his head as well, smiling under his mask. "Affirmative," he said.

* * *

Starscream growled in frustration as he slammed his hands down on his desk. What was _wrong_ with the idiots in this base? He had just pointed out a massive flaw in Megatron's leadership, had gone on about it at length once the mech in question left, and _still_ he had been laughed down fo suggesting that he could do better! When he left the Command Center, Scrapper and Astrotrain had been arguing their_ own_ cases as leaders!

It was infuriating. Starscream dragged his fingers over the desktop, ignoring the screech of metal on metal, then pushed himself away and started pacing. His optics swept his quarters, searching for something to take his anger out on, but there was nothing. The possessions he cared about were in his lab, and aside from the desk, a chair, and his berth, he'd long since destroyed everything else he'd owned. Snarling, he returned to the desk and hooked the chair with his foot, pulling it out and dropping into it.

What did he have to do to get some respect? Kill Optimus Prime himself? He'd tried that and it hadn't worked. He didn't think killing the Prime would end the war anyway, regardless of what Megatron thought. In fact, it was probably better for the Decepticons if Prime stayed leader, because he was the most soft-sparked Autobot of all. Prowl was more ruthless, Ironhide would rather shoot than talk, and Jazz was just dangerous. Killing any of the officers _but_ Prime would improve the Decepticons' chances, really.

For a moment Starscream wondered if Megatron knew that, but he dismissed the notion with a huff. That would be giving him _way_ too much credit.

The Seeker vented a sigh and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. He was still angry, but being alone with his thoughts - and well away from the source of his ire - had calmed him somewhat. But because he _was_ still angry, he spent the next half-hour thinking of ways he could kill Megatron. Few of them were simple enough to be practical, but they made him feel better.

He was in the middle of a fantasy involving a tar pit, a big rock, and a catapult, when his thoughts were scattered by a high-pitched beep. After a moment of confusion he realized someone was requesting entrance, and he stared intently at the door. Skywarp would just teleport in, Megatron would either shoot the door or use an override code, Thundercracker was in the med bay after the raid earlier, and no one else ever visited. So who was out there, and what did they want?

For several seconds Starscream sat frozen, debating whether or not to let his visitor in, then deciding firmly against it. This was too far out of the ordinary for his liking. Megatron's apparent preoccupation with an unknown project was bad enough without other strange things happening.

Another sharp beep cut through the silence, followed by the soft, whining hum of Starscream's weapons systems onlining. He rose from his chair and cautiously approached the door, staying to one side in case whoever it was tried to blast it down. About twenty feet away he stopped and raised his rifles, then waited until the next beep came before shouting, "Unless we're under attack or Megatron is dying, I don't care! Go away!"

"Negative," came the slightly muffled reply. "This is important."

Soundwave. Megatron's most loyal pet, probably here to scold him for disrupting the oh-so-important hierarchy of the Decepticons. It had happened before, mostly during his early days as Air Commander, but apparently he'd caused enough trouble lately to earn another lecture. Starscream almost told him to save it till morning, but he stopped himself. Soundwave was patient enough to wait out there all night, and the last thing the Seeker wanted was the creepiest mech in the _Nemesis_ standing outside while he was trying to recharge.

"I've already told you what I consider important," he said instead. "If it's not on the list, leave me alone."

"Soundwave: acting on Megatron's orders."

In other words, if Starscream didn't hear Soundwave out, Megatron would get involved. Scowling, he lowered his weapons and silently sent the command to open the door, which slid aside to reveal the Communications Officer. Soundwave was as inscrutable as ever stepping into the room, but Starscream felt strangely uneasy. Was that red visor glowing a bit more brightly than usual? Was that even stride a little more purposeful?

They were small differences, small enough to be his imagination. So why did he feel like he was being hunted? Why did everything in him want to get the frag out of there?

"So what does our glorious leader want?" he asked, trying to still the nervous twitching of his wings. Soundwave hadn't stopped moving, hadn't even slowed down, and Starscream took an involuntary step back.

"Megatron wishes you reprogrammed."

Starscream stared at the slightly taller mech, unable to believe his audios. Then he was scrambling backward, raising weapons that had never been powered down and aiming them at Soundwave's chest. "That's insane! He can't reprogram anyone he wants just because it worked on the Combaticons! It's too risky, and I'm too valuable!"

"Resistance is useless. Suggestion: don't fight me."

"Forget that! I'm _not_ going to let you do this to me. Now get out of my way!"

Soundwave didn't move, which was no surprise, but at least he'd stopped advancing when the Seeker's weapons came up. Starscream circled around the telepath until he was about a wing's length from the door, which had closed automatically after Soundwave entered. Not once did the flier drop his gaze or his rifles from the silent mech, who did nothing more than turn in place to keep him in sight.

"I don't know where Megatron got the idea to reprogram me, but it isn't going to happen," Starscream snapped, pinging the door with a command to open and backing toward it. "He'll never consider this again once I've explained the risks _you_ clearly didn't!"

He was just about to fire on Soundwave when he felt metal against his back. Distracted, he craned his neck in an effort to look past his air intakes, barely identifying the dark mass on the edge of his vision as the door.

_The door hadn't opened._

Alarmed, Starscream jerked his gaze back to the front just as Soundwave slammed into him, knocking his arms out to the sides. The Seeker twisted violently as he was pinned against the door, but the grounder had a significant weight advantage over him.

"It will happen," Soundwave said, a hard edge to his monotonous voice. Starscream snarled in reply and brought his foot down on Soundwave's, sending power to his thruster. The dark mech recoiled as he was burned, giving the other a chance to hurl himself forward. They crashed to the floor in a heap, Starscream on top. His fist collided with the masked face even as Soundwave lurched upward, using the Seeker's own momentum to throw him off. Starscream hit the foot of his berth hard before dropping back to the floor.

The Air Commander was dazed from the impact, but he enough presence of mind left to roll over and sit up. The fog cleared immediately when he found Soundwave looming over him, however, and his back clanged against the berth as he recoiled. He barely got his weapons up before firing, but Soundwave moved at the same time he did, twisting to one side and avoiding the lasers by a scant inch. Then an arm swept across, knocking both of Starscream's away. In the same movement Soundwave grabbed the tip of the Seeker's near wing with his other hand, yanking it forward and pivoting so that it passed between the struggling mechs. Starscream shrieked, forced to turn as well to keep it from being torn off. Soundwave threw his full weight against the wide surface, off-balancing his opponent and sending them back to the floor. The Seeker screamed again as his other wing hit first, giving away under their combined weight with a sharp _crack_ and a sensation like fire.

For several seconds Starscream squirmed and bucked, unable to think of anything except getting off of his broken wing. But Soundwave kept him pinned, lying on the smaller mech to hold him still. The thought that he should stop fighting drifted through his mind, but he _knew _it wasn't his, and he struggled all the harder.

"Desist," Soundwave ordered. "You will only hurt yourself more."

Starscream's only reply was a static-laced curse before he switched his comm unit on, hoping to call Skywarp to help him. An icy feeling gripped his spark when all he heard was more static. If Soundwave was jamming his communications somehow, which was highly likely, then he was in major trouble.

A hand came down on the side of his head, pushing it to the floor, and all vestiges of rational thought fled. He writhed under his attacker, threatening and pleading in equal measure, terrified by the knowledge of what was coming. But Soundwave was unmoved by either words or struggles, and within moments fingers were brushing over the back of the Seeker's head, opening an access panel. Then Soundwave plugged into him, and he knew it was over.

The presence at the edge of his mind was barely tangible at first, but it was through his primary firewalls almost immediately, and he couldn't help but shrink back from its touch. Soundwave was sharp and focused, calm in the manner of the frozen tundra, and with just as little mercy. It was so alien, so utterly not-Starscream, that his first instinct was to avoid it. Then, as it started breaking down his secondary firewalls, he attacked instead.

If it had been a simple battle of wills, or if Soundwave had been less experienced, Starscream might have won through sheer intensity. As it was, the telepath had been hacking minds since the war began, while the Seeker seldom touched any mind for any reason.

It only took a few minutes for Starscream to exhaust himself mentally, and his physical efforts faded soon after. Victory won, Soundwave's presence began probing at his mind while he offlined his optics, trembling.

_-Relax,- _Soundwave said in a thought-voice that lacked the flat, hollow tone of his real one. _-You will not be harmed.-_

_-Define 'harmed',-_ Starscream hissed, his own thought-voice weak. _-You already broke my wing, and now you're going to reprogram me. I call that harmed!-_

Soundwave didn't reply, but the weight pinning the Seeker under his own wing lifted. The slightly crushed appendage shifted to a more normal position as Starscream reactivated his optics, fixing a wary gaze on the blue mech. Soundwave was still far too close for comfort, but the short cable stretched out between their heads warned him not to attack. He'd kept the telepath at bay this long by training himself to think in images and sensations rather than words, but that wouldn't help with Soundwave plugged into him.

Something that felt distinctly like approval touched him through the connection, and for a moment he was torn between shock and a burning desire for more. Then Soundwave reached for him and his terror returned.

_"Get away from me!"_ Starscream lashed out even as he jerked back, jarring his damaged wing and slamming into the side of the berth again. Soundwave caught his fist at the same time, using it to pull him from the floor. Somehow Starscream found himself trapped against the other mech's chest, fighting for all he was worth. It was only after the burst of frantic energy faded that he realized his wing hurt less with his weight off of it. Not only that, but he was being restrained in a way that didn't cause further damage.

"Be still," Soundwave ordered quietly as the Seeker's desperate struggles lessened. "You will be fine. There is no reason to be frightened."

"That's slag," Starscream rasped, straining against Soundwave's arms a final time before slumping back and going limp. "Stop playing nice and just _do_ it if you're going to. Just... get it over with..." His voice died and he offlined his optics again, trying hard to ignore the barely-felt pulsing of Soundwave's spark. The steady rhythem was comforting on a level that went beyond programming, and it sickened him to even acknowledge the fact.

"Upload: thirty-seven percent complete," Soundwave stated. A small shudder went through Starscream's frame, but he didn't start fighting again. He didn't know what the other mech was uploading, but he did know it was too late to stop it.

He was already being changed...

* * *

Soundwave studied Starscream's coding carefully while he waited for the programs he'd written to upload. The obedience program would have to be tied in with the rest of the Seeker's social programs, and he needed to figure out how to do it. New coding had to be integrated carefully to minimize problems, especially since Starscream already had trouble with his social center. Any mistake and the best that could happen was for his anti-virus software to delete the foreign code.

It looked like that was a possibility anyway though, considering the state of his coding. Most of it was alright, but there were a few holes, as though some lines of code had broken down. Most likely it was the result of a virus, but if it had ever been repaired, it had been done badly enough that his anti-virus software had cleared it out again.

Soundwave briefly considered repairing some of it himself, but decided against it. This was old damage, and Starscream could clearly function without the extra code. Replacing it now could actually impare his ability to function, especially in social situations. Besides, the new programs would place enough strain on his processor, even if they integrated smoothly. If they didn't... well, Soundwave wanted to keep processor crashes to a minimum.

When the upload finished, Soundwave linked everything together and entered the required data to activate the obedience program, placing Starscream under Megatron's control. Then he set the activation requirement for the sleeper program that would turn control over to Soundwave when the time came. With any luck he would have Starscream won over by then.

The Seeker finally seemed to be calming down some. He was still shaking, but the terror was being replaced by a numb emptiness. It was a normal response to trauma, and a small part of Soundwave was sorry for causing it. But Starscream would benefit from this in the long run, so it was hard to feel truly guilty.

Soundwave unplugged his data cable and let it coil back into his head before closing both mechs' access panels. Then he stood up, keeping his arms firmly around Starscream as he lifted him on to the berth. The Seeker made no effort to withdraw, so Soundwave sat down next to him and studied his broken wing. The pale surface was marred by a long crack that ran straight down the middle, neatly bisecting the purple symbol there. The main spar had also snapped, but there was no energon, and nothing had twisted. There must have been a pre-existing fracture for it to have broken so cleanly. It would be easy enough to fix, even for a non-medic, and Soundwave hadn't meant to actually hurt Starscream. He could fix this if he was given the chance.

He laid a careful hand on the quivering appendage, and was unsurprised when it jerked at his touch. He glanced up to find Starscream watching him through pale, frightened optics. Soundwave had never seen the Seeker look at anyone in quite the same way, but it didn't really bother him. He'd actually expected a much worse reaction, though maybe Starscream was just too tired right now. Mental exhaustion went far deeper than the physical kind, after all.

It wasn't until Soundwave pulled a roll of tools from his subspace that Starscream seemed to rouse himself. He made a strangled sound and smacked the hand from his wing, then shoved himself backward until he fell off the far edge of the berth. Soundwave circled around, mildly concerned, but Starscream drew back again.

"Get out," he whispered harshly, fear, anger, and dispair warring for dominance in the shaking rasp. "You've already _ruined_ me... isn't that enough?"

For a moment Soundwave merely considered him in silence. Then he stepped back, knowing Starscream couldn't take any more right now. "Rest then," he said, shutting off his short-range comm jammer. He was a little disappointed that his help had been rejected, but he wasn't surprised. He would just have to handle the Seeker carefully, and make sure Megatron took the blame for deciding to reprogram him. This would never work if Soundwave's involvement came out.

There were still a few things Soundwave needed to do before the night was through, so he decided to take his leave. He felt no remorse for what had happened, and why should he? Starscream would be fine once he calmed down and started thinking logically again, and he had the ability to fix his own wing if he didn't want to visit the med bay. Besides, Soundwave firmly believed that the ends justified the means. Sometimes things had to get worse before they got better, that was how life worked.

So he left, not sparing a backward glance for the Seeker he had hurt. Once he was gone Starscream pressed himself into a corner, shaking so badly that his wings tapped out a rapid beat on the walls. Each small impact was painful, but not nearly so much as knowing what had been done to him. A soft keen escaped his vocalizer, and he buried his face in his arms to muffle any further noises.

It would be a long time before he moved again.

* * *

**I haven't seen many stories like this one, so feedback is appreciated. Also, I'm not sure Soundwave has a communications jammer, but given his roll as Communications Officer, he should. So he does.**


	2. Nightmares Begin

**Here's chapter two.**

* * *

Now there's a haze  
Pushing me sideways  
And leaving me nothing to gain  
Taking me back, locking me  
Cold in disparity  
-Unleashed, Epica

* * *

Starscream stared at the wall opposite him, scarlet optics dim and tired. Half his face was still hidden by his folded arms, but his shaking had stopped about an hour earlier. Now he just felt sick. His head hurt, his wing hurt, and while his systems were running hot from stress, his mind still felt chilled from Soundwave's presence.

Most of all he was numb inside, as though he had just watched someone else being attacked instead of experiencing it himself.

He had never felt so weak in his life. Nothing Megatron had ever done to him, no punishment or unjust accusation, had _ever_ made him feel this way. It was all he could do not to purge when he thought about how easily Soundwave had defeated him. Justifications offered themselves one after another: Soundwave was bigger, stronger, better prepared, more experienced, Starscream hadn't had enough room to maneuver. It was all true, but it only made him feel worse.

If Soundwave knew anything about the responsible side of changing code, he would be back to make sure the new programming was properly integrated, and to work on it if it wasn't. Starscream didn't want to be hacked again, but if he couldn't stop it once, what chance did he have a second time? What if an error, or even a glitch, emerged because of coding conflict? How many sessions would it take to fix it?

How often would this nightmare be repeated?

Starscream pressed his lips together as his fuel tanks threatened to empty. The only thing worse than being hacked was not knowing what Soundwave had changed. What was going to happen to him now? Would he be able to tell when the new programming was at work, or would his altered behavior seem natural?

The uncertainty scared him. He had never felt so helpless, so completely out of control. Just how badly would his body betray him? What about his thoughts? How would he be able to trust himself if he didn't even know which _thoughts_ were his own?

It was too much. He gave a low groan and lurched forward, landing heavily on his hands and knees right before purging violently. The sudden movement sent a fresh jolt of pain through his wing, forcing a ragged sound from his throat that quickly turned to choking. By the time it ended his arms could barely support him. His wings hung so low at his sides that the tips brushed the floor. He was alone, but he felt vulnerable, threatened. He could hear himself keening again, but this time he didn't try to muffle it.

He wanted so badly not to be alone right now. If he wasn't so damaged he wouldn't have to be. He would have a Trine that actually _cared_ about him. Instead he had Skywarp and Thundercracker, and he knew they barely tolerated him. He couldn't remember exactly when they turned on him, didn't really understand how it had happened, but it had. Thundercracker - who had explained to him what Trine even _was_ and had helped him make some sense of his patchy coding - Thundercracker _hated_ him, and Skywarp just didn't care anymore.

He sank slowly to the floor, lying on one silver wing and letting the broken one rest on his tightly curled form. The spark of anger was gone as quickly as it had come, unable to find fuel in his exhausted mind. He couldn't blame them for not caring after the way he treated them. It was his fault that he was alone now, just as it was his fault that Soundwave had been able to reprogram him. He should have fought harder.

The justifications came back to the surface as logic tried to show him exactly why he had been doomed from the start. But all it did was feed his despair and bring back the fear.

* * *

According to Soundwave's chronometer, it was 5:00 AM local time. A little early for an off-duty mech to be up and about, but for him it was normal. Besides, he needed to check on Starscream and make sure the Seeker was alright before Megatron called them in. Soundwave was a skilled programmer, but he knew Starscream was going to have a hard time for a while.

The blue mech strode through the dim hallways toward the flier's room, his unseen frown at odds with his purposeful stride. Seekers were well known for being difficult to work on, because they had so many programs that other frametypes lacked. That meant more things could go wrong, and that was saying a lot considering how many problems a bad change could create in the simplest system. Few programmers would willingly work on a damaged Seeker like Starscream, and the more Soundwave thought about it, the grimmer he became.

Obedience programs, like all shell programs, were not generally harmful. They worked with the system instead of against it, and if coding conflict arose, the original programs would be allowed to function unhindered, avoiding errors. As long as the reprogrammed bots obeyed orders and made no attempt to harm their registered masters, they could live their lives without any negative impact from their coding.

Starscream, however, was unlikely to follow the rules, and every time the program had to enforce proper behavior, any underlying problems would come to the surface.

Of course, that wasn't always a bad thing. Errors and minor glitches could be excellent deterrents for those who would otherwise disobey constantly. But they could be very dangerous in certain circumstances, which usually made it better to fix the problem instead.

In the end, it came down to this: Starscream was missing a lot of code, which left fewer chances for conflict. But it also meant that his programs had established a careful balance to maintain as much normal functioning as possible. The new program would upset that balance every time it activated, potentially causing glitches that couldn't be easily fixed. Eventually a new balance would be established, but it would take a long time if Soundwave didn't help it along.

The problem lay in keeping Starscream alive that long. A single glitch in the middle of battle could end the Seeker, which would set back the plan considerably.

He found Ravage sitting outside Starscream's room when he got there, so he knew the Seeker was still inside. The mechanical panther looked ill at ease, though no one but Soundwave would be able to tell, and it made him wonder what was wrong.

"Ravage," he greeted softly. "Did something happen?"

Ravage turned his head, giving the door behind him a hard stare before looking at Soundwave. "Starscream isn't taking this well," the felinoid said bluntly. "He spent the whole night whimpering, and I think he purged a couple times. It's been maybe half an hour since I last heard anything."

Soundwave nodded his acknowledgement and called Ravage back, choosing to ignore his eldest creation's tone. Once the cat was safely docked he reactivated his comm. scrambler, keyed open the door with an override code, and re-entered Starscream's room.

He found the Seeker curled up in a corner next to a puddle of energon. The hazy, indistinct form of Starscream's emotions told Soundwave that he was recharging, though probably not well judging by the negative feelings he was giving off. The dark face was set in a slightly ill grimace, but there were no other outward signs of distress.

Soundwave settled himself by Starscream's head and gave the flier a small shake, earning nothing more than a groan and the twitch of a wing. Starscream wasn't normally so dead to the world, but he wasn't normally so completely drained either, so Soundwave hadn't expected much. It might actually be better if Starscream stayed out for a while. He certainly needed the rest, and it would make Soundwave's job easier.

The telepath plugged in carefully, pausing when the Seeker stirred, then continuing when he settled again. The firewalls were lowered a few seconds later, giving Soundwave complete access to everything that made Starscream who he was. Personality traits stemmed from the spark, but it was memories and programming that determined how those traits were expressed. All it took was to alter those things, and the mech called Starscream would also change. Alternatively Soundwave could view anything, from the earliest memories to the most closely guarded secrets.

It was tempting, so _very_ tempting, to do some digging around. He wanted to know what Starscream had been hiding all these years. He wanted to know what could drive a Seeker to turn its back on its chosen leader. He really just wanted to know everything. But this was no time for spying; Starscream's mind was currently lost in whatever memory flux he was having, but even a recharging mind would notice an intruder sooner rather than later. It was better for Soundwave to do what he came to do.

He examined the Seeker's coding just as carefully as he had the night before, paying special attention to the programs that would be affected directly if the new one activated. It took time to do it properly, and he was only halfway through when something shifted, warning him that Starscream was aware of his presence. Barely two seconds later Starscream was fully online and jerking back, only to freeze with a yelp as the teeth of Soundwave's cable dug into his access port.

For a tense moment the two mechs stared at each other. Soundwave made no move to restrain the Seeker, hoping it wouldn't be neccesary. He watched Starscream's optics follow the length of the cable connecting them, felt confusion give away to shocked disbelief, fear, and anger as memories of the night before returned. Then what was happening in the present sank in, and Starscream's mouth fell open.

"You- While I was- _Soundwave_!" he screeched. His hands shot up from under his wing, and only Soundwave's presence in his mind let the telepath catch his wrists before he could rip the cable free.

"Desist," Soundwave said, pinning Starscream's hands to the floor in front of his face. "I don't want to hurt you."

"_Desist_?" Starscream repeated shrilly. "You're _hacking_ me while I'm recharging! If _that_ doesn't give me a right to freak out, _nothing _does!"

"Regardless, cooperation is advised."

At least he wasn't fighting yet, Soundwave mused. He was trembling, his wing was still folded down over his body, and possible escapes were flashing through his mind more quickly than Soundwave could interpret the images, but he wasn't fighting. If anything he has struggling with _himself_ and his disgusted disbelief was winning out over his fear. Soundwave took the chance to resume his examination, though he continued to watch Starscream's racing thoughts.

Finally the Seeker burst out, "What is _wrong _with you? I'm _damaged_ and no one had to tell _me_ that hardlining a recharging bot is wrong!"

"So is killing," Soundwave pointed out, frowning as he discovered a potential error. Starscream started to reply, but the telepath cut him off. "Right and wrong have no place in war."

"And that makes this okay?" Starscream demanded. He sounded and felt slightly unsure though, and Soundwave wondered how well he understood right and wrong to begin with. A few more image-thoughts flashed across Starscream's mindscape, all pictures of individual mechs, Autobot and Decepticon alike. They seemed to be symbols for abstract concepts, but without knowing what they meant to Starscream, Soundwave couldn't decipher them. Whatever meaning they held, the Seeker's doubts vanished.

"We're on the same side," he said, trapped hands balling into fists. "Even in a war, that makes this _wrong_."

Soundwave vented heavily and continued searching out errors, having decided the first one was unlikely to manifest. "What is wrong about this?" he asked, knowing the answer but wanting to keep Starscream occupied. The smaller mech snarled, shaking his head in an effort to rid himself of the data cable.

"It's a violation!" he snapped, now trying to free his hands. "Even if you weren't _reprogramming_ me, it's still hacking. Doing it while I'm recharging, when I can't even say 'no', is just..."He trailed off with a shudder as Soundwave leaned forward. It was to give the taut cable some slack, but Starscream didn't know that, and his struggles immediately ceased. He stared at the masked face above his own for a moment, then turned his head away and shut off his optics, venting shallowly.

"Don't be afraid," Soundwave said, rubbing his hands gently over the Seeker's forearms in an attempt to calm him. "I won't hurt you."

Starscream didn't believe him, of course. But Soundwave could afford to be patient. He already knew it would take a long time, but he hoped that one day he would gain the younger mech's trust.

* * *

"I hate you," Starscream muttered, following Soundwave through the hallways. The words were barely audible, but he knew they were heard. He had never met a mech with such sensitive audios, except maybe Red Alert.

"Noted," Soundwave replied, and Starscream couldn't repress a shudder. The telepath's voice had never bothered him before, but now a single word was enough to conjure up memories of being pinned and invaded. He pushed them back down as quickly as they came, wanting nothing more than to pretend it had never happened. There was no way he could keep working with Soundwave if he didn't.

It helped to have the larger bot ahead of him. At least he would see it coming if anything else happened.

The Seeker's jaw tightened as he rubbed one forearm, wishing he could get the feel of Soundwave's hands off his plating. He didn't understand the other's behavior at all. Not that he ever could, but there was something different this time. Something deeply unsettling. Part of it had to do with Soundwave's insistance that he wouldn't be hurt, which was an obvious lie, but there was more to it than that.

Frag it. He wasn't supposed to be thinking about this. Starscream started rubbing his other arm as he looked beyond Soundwave to Megatron's office door.

He seriously didn't want to be here. He couldn't deal with Megatron on top of what had already happened today. But here he was, wing burning from the fresh welds and tanks still deciding whether to expel the half-cube of energon he'd forced down. Escorted by his hacker to speak with his abuser.

Maybe if he purged he could hide in the med bay for a few hours.

The door slid open at their approach, and Starscream's gaze dropped to the floor. Bad enough that he had to listen to Megatron's gloating, he didn't want to see it too. He stopped just behind Soundwave and forced himself to stop clawing at his arms.

"Well, Soundwave, did it work?" Megatron asked. Starscream could feel his leader's optics on him, just as clearly as he felt the phantom touches on his arms and head. There was no way he could get through this without some kind of breakdown. It was impossible.

"Reprogramming: successful," Soundwave said, making the Seeker flinch. "Starscream: fully obedient."

"We'll see about that." The groan and creak of metal warned Starscream that Megatron had left his chair. "Did he give you any trouble?"

"Affirmative. But it was futile."

Shame. Burning, tank-churning shame. But what did he have to be ashamed of? _He_ was the wronged party, so why did he feel like the one at fault?

"So you hacked him." Megatron's voice was closer now, and harder. "You had better not have caused any lasting damage. I have no use for a traumatized Second."

Starscream hunched his shoulders, wings low and quivering. Soundwave, however, seemed unfazed when he replied, "Chances of long-term damage: seven percent. The new program operates primarily through emotional influence. Emotions deemed harmful will be mitigated."

"_What__?_" Starscream jerked his head up to stare at Soundwave, not wanting to believe what he'd just heard. "Are you _crazy?_ Do you have any _idea_ what you-"

"Starscream." A single warning word and a heavy hand on his wing. That was all it took to make him fall silent again. He shrank away from the contact, half-expecting pain and unwilling to be touched, then tensed when the hand tightened. For the first time since entering the room, he looked around at Megatron. The warlord didn't seem angry, but beyond that his expression was unreadable. Trembling slightly, Starscream looked away again.

"I'm not sure this is an improvement," Megatron said skeptically. "Why is he acting like this?"

"Starscream: now driven to please you. However, the program doesn't know what you expect of him. Result: heightened anxiety. He will calm once core directives are programmed."

Heightened anxiety. Starscream felt like he was about to crash from stress, and Soundwave labeled it "heightened anxiety". The new program must not have been working right, because the sudden, violent desire to kill the telepath didn't feel mitigated at all.

"Core directives?" Megatron repeated. "Shouldn't you have included those to begin with?"

"Soundwave: lacks authorization. Directives can only be accessed by registered master."

Oh Primus. This was just getting worse.

"Is that really necessary?"

"Affirmative. Directives require no expertise to program. Without protection anyone could change them."

"I don't remember things being so complicated when the Combaticons were reprogrammed."

"Circumstances: different. For Combaticons: simple programs were sufficient. For Starscream: such a program offers too much leeway."

"I see." Megatron's hand finally left Starscream's wing, much to the Seeker's relief, and he moved back around the desk. "You're dismissed, Soundwave. I wish to speak to Starscream alone."

"As you command." The telepath brushed passed Starscream, who couldn't help but flinch away again, then the door slid shut behind him and silence fell. The Seeker flicked his wings apprehensively, painfully aware of being alone with a mech he no longer knew how to respond to. He glanced up briefly, then looked away again when he realized he was being watched. His chronometer told him that only a few seconds passed, but it felt like much longer before Megatron finally spoke.

"Well, Starscream? Don't you have anything to say about all this?" It wasn't asked in a gloating manner, or even an amused one, and it threw Starscream off. His leader sounded perfectly serious, which was the last thing he'd expected. But it gave him hope that his opinion was actually being requested, and he took a moment to consider the question.

"I don't know what to say," he admitted at length, hating how small his voice sounded. He reset his vocalizer and forced himself to meet Megatron's gaze, trying not to look as pathetic as he felt. "Why did you do this to me? I haven't done anything, not since the Combaticons. So why...?" He trailed off and looked back to the floor, unable to continue.

"You haven't done anything _yet_," Megatron replied, "but we both know it's only a matter of time. Only a fool would believe exile had any lasting effect on you, and your behavior yesterday proves that it didn't. In fact, _nothing_ ever has a lasting effect on you."

Starscream's optics narrowed, and he curled his hands into fists. He'd done nothing wrong the day before except remove his Seekers from the sky when the Autobots showed up with anti-aircraft weaponry. Fliers weren't as effective on the ground, but they'd done alright until Megatron noticed and ordered them back into the air. Next thing they knew Thundercracker and Ramjet were both down, with Skywarp and Thrust almost getting shot while catching them. Megatron was forced to call the retreat, though of course he blamed the failed raid on Starscream. The Seeker accused his leader of paying too much attention to Optimus Prime and not enough to the other Autobots, and it all went downhill from there.

In retrospect, it had been a largely painless confrontation. If he hadn't been so angry he would have realized something was amiss, especially since Megatron left with Soundwave. But at the time he hadn't even cared.

Now he was angry again, and it overrode his fearful anxiety. He lifted his head and wings, face set in a defiant glare, and spat, "All I did was what _you_ should have done! The Autobots won because you couldn't take _three seconds_ to understand why we landed. You just sent right back into danger, and I honestly don't know who the bigger idiots are: You for ordering it, or the others for obeying!"

He was shouting by the end, even as he backed away from Megatron, who was striding toward him. The silver-gray mech still showed no signs of anger though, a fact which scared Starscream more than rage would have.

"You've proven my point perfectly," Megatron said as he backed the Seeker into a wall. "All these years I've been lenient, no matter what you've done, and you repay me with defiance and treachery. You should be grateful to have your life."

Starscream winced as the shame made itself known again, and even though he was sure it was a product of Soundwave's program, it felt no less real. It _hurt_ to know Megatron was displeased with him, even as his logical mind insisted that he had no reason to feel that way.

A hand wrapped around his throat in a familiar crushing grip, and he reflexively clung to the large forearm as he was pushed back against the wall. "You have a habit of blaming others for your mistakes, so let me make something very clear," Megatron said, putting his face close to the Seeker's. "This is _your_ fault. _You _chose to rebel, _you_ have tried again and again to kill me, and now _you_ will pay the consequences for your actions. Do you understand?"

"Yes," Starscream rasped, barely able to get it out. He felt like someone had taken a blade to his spark and carved the cruel words into the crystal. Megatron had basically just told him that he _deserved_ to be hacked, and he was starting to believe it. Whether it was a natural result of the trauma, or the new coding agreeing with Megatron, it didn't matter. The searing pain in his spark was there regardless.

For a few seconds the narrow crimson optics studied him, then the hand left his throat and Megatron stepped back. Starscream slumped against the wall and tried to control himself, shaking so much he could barely stand. To his utter horror his vents hitched slightly, a clear indicator of his approaching meltdown. For a moment he dared to hope it had gone unnoticed but, of course, he was never that lucky.

"Did Soundwave do anything besides reprogram you?" Megatron asked, clearly suspicious. The implications of that question combined with Soundwave's strange behavior almost made Starscream purge then and there, especially when he remembered waking up with that cold presence in his head. The telepath _had_ hurt him, and not just by breaking his wing; the comforting words and touches were painful in their own way, mostly because the comfort offered was fake. That it was offered at all scared him almost as much as being reprogrammed, simply because he didn't know what Soundwave wanted from him. But Megatron wouldn't care about any of that.

"No," Starscream whispered, not trusting his voice enough to raise it. "Nothing."

* * *

Somehow Starscream made it through the rest of the meeting without a complete breakdown, but it was close. He left the room in a daze, upright through sheer force of will. He knew Megatron hadn't believed him about Soundwave, and while the subject had been dropped, he hoped the blue mech would be kept away from him. Whatever Soundwave was after, it couldn't be good if he was playing nice.

Starscream needed to get out. He needed a place without walls or security cameras, someplace where he could collapse without being seen or stumbled across. But his quarters and his lab were both places where he could be easily found, which left him with only one option.

Five minutes later he was in the air, not caring that it was unsafe to fly when he could barely walk. He was used to flying in poor conditions, both his own and those of the weather, and a small, dark part of him gloried in it. There was always a chance, however slight, that he would crash and burn on one of these ill-advised flights. That small part of him longed for the day it happened.

He was shaking badly again, despite being in his altmode, which made it impossible to fly straight. It was almost like being caught in turbulence, except that no corrections he could make would help. The best he could do was dip lower and avoid the wind currents higher up that would make things harder.

For a brief moment he considered shutting off his engines and just dropping. Then he pushed the thought back into the recesses of his mind where it came from and kept going. The urge returned when he reached the west coast of North America, and the presence of solid ground below made it harder to resist. But he was used to holding his darkest impulses at bay, and he shoved it down again.

He transformed above a forest clearing and landed awkwardly, falling heavily to his knees. He doubled over with a soft whimper, wrapping his arms around himself as though it would ease the pain in his spark. All he could hear was Megatron's voice telling him this was his fault. All he could feel were the fresh wounds that hurt as much as any physical injury. Nothing else was real.

In the past he had always reacted to emotional pain by lashing out at whatever hurt him. Anger was his best defence, the only way he really knew to protect himself from others. But this time there was no one to get angry at, no one to blame but himself. This time he didn't know how to handle the pain.

Eventually the whimpers and moans became sharp cries, his vents hitching with shuddering sobs. With nothing to hold his weaker emotions in check, they spilled from him in an uncontrolled rush. He finally lost the battle with his tanks and purged, splattering the ground with energon the Decepticons couldn't afford to lose. A small thing, but his turbulent state made it almost unbearable.

At length his exhaustion overtook him and he slumped sideways, curling up in the dirt without a second thought. His wing was hurting again thanks to his earlier flight, but he cared about that only slightly more than he cared about the dust on his plating.

He wished he could just erase the memories of the last fifteen hours, but it was too dangerous. From a medical standpoint, his mind could only take so much tampering before being damaged, and Soundwave had already pushed him over that limit. The risk of making the damage permanent wasn't worth the relief of not remembering. Medical reasons aside, he _needed_ those memories. He needed to remember that Soundwave could and would hurt him, and might do it again. If he deliberately ignored that, he would be asking for trouble.

Speaking of remembering, he was supposed to be on duty right now. He really didn't want to move, but he forced himself to his feet, and then into the air. He never saw the small black and red shape that had followed him from base. But Laserbeak had seen everything, and while he had no fondness for Starscream, watching the proud Seeker fall apart had been unsettling. Now, gazing after the other flier from a tree, he found himself wondering if Soundwave had finally made a mistake.

* * *

**I'm not sure how dark this is going to get, and I may raise the rating later. But if anyone thinks it needs to go up at any time, just let me know.**


	3. Webs spun

**Right. Because of the way this chapter turned out, I'm officially raising the rating. Be warned for trauma, flashbacks, and other potentially triggering events from here on out.**

* * *

How can you end my affliction  
If you're the sickness, not the cure  
-Death of Me, Red

* * *

Starscream had been through some truly awful things over the course of his life. He had lost Skyfire, then got his friend back just to lose him again. He had watched the destruction of his city, becoming the Winglord of a broken race as a result, when he was barely an adult. He'd put up with Megatron's abuse since his early days as a Decepticon. There had been times when physical and emotional stress left him unbalanced and angry for days or weeks at a time, unable to function in any socially acceptable manner. Through it all there was that self-destructive urge, a faint shadow lamenting his continued existence.

None of it could be measured against his first day as a reprogrammed mech. He had been able to regain some control of himself by the time he got back to base, but it was a fragile sort of control. Whenever Soundwave was in the same room, Starscream became tense and fidgety, snapping at anyone who spoke to him while trying to discreetly watch the telepath. Several times he found himself staring at a monitor or a datapad without really seeing it, having been too lost in thought to pay attention to what he was doing. Once he looked up after such a lapse and realized Soundwave had entered the room without him knowing, which almost sent him into a panic.

Perhaps most disturbing was the way he reacted to Megatron's presence. It wasn't just that he felt steadier and less fearful when the warlord was around, though that was bad enough. What really bothered him was the sense that everything would be okay as long as he did what he was told. The newly programmed core directives wouldn't let him act against his leader anyway, but the program itself made him not even _want_ to. That, added to the strong desire for approval being instilled in him, was strange enough that he starting to feel ill again by the time his duty shift ended.

Being able to lock himself in his quarters at the end of the day should have been a relief. In some ways it was, because he was finally alone. But at the same time, he was afraid to be alone. Soundwave wasn't likely to try anything with other bots around, but on his own Starscream was a target. A prepared target maybe - he'd grabbed a bottle of acid from his lab - but still a target. What if Soundwave came while he was recharging again?

Starscream stared at the bottle in his hands as his thoughts chased each other in useless circles. He was sitting on the edge of his berth, elbows on his knees and a troubled frown on his face. He didn't know what to do. He needed to rest, especially since he hadn't the night before, but he didn't want to leave himself vulnerable. On the other hand, _not_ resting would do that anyway. One way or the other, he would lose.

The acid splashed against the sides of the bottle as he rolled it between his hands. He had always thought he would rather die than be reprogrammed. Nothing had ever seemed worse than being turned into someone he wasn't, with no way to resist. But his worst nightmare had come to life, and it wasn't what he'd expected.

It was _worse_. He had never imagined how scared and weak he would feel after being hacked. Never thought he would feel so helplessly out of control that he would actually _want_ Megatron to tell him what to do, just to have a sense of stability. Then there was the simple strain of having his coding changed, which was giving him a headache. It all came together to form a reality worse than anything his imagination had ever produced.

His hands shook slightly as they tightened around the bottle.

He didn't want to live in fear. He didn't want to be enslaved to someone else. He _wanted_ to be himself, and if he couldn't do that... if that had been taken from him... What was left? Everything he had done with his life, every decision and mistake that had made him who he was... What did it matter if who he was could be taken away so easily?

He took a shuddering ventilation and subspaced the acid. He wanted it close at hand, but with his thoughts drifting toward some decidedly self-harmful uses for it, he no longer wanted to hold it. Instead he picked up a pair of datapads that were sitting next to him, which he'd also grabbed from his lab, and moved to put his back to the wall.

Both of the pads were academy-level databooks on programming. One focused specifically on coding, and he'd long since committed the contents to memory. The other took a more psychological view on programming, but he had never done more than skim it. Each contained a section on reprogramming, which was presented as a crime against nature. Morbid reading material for someone in Starscream's position, but he needed to know as much as he could about what Soundwave had done.

For some time he read in silence, stopping occasionally to collect himself before continuing on. In the coding text he found a program description that matched what he knew about Soundwave's addition, and it was just as bad as he had feared. It was a slave program, considered one of the worst because it involved manipulating the targets' emotions until they would willingly do anything their masters wanted.

The purpose of the core directives was explained too; they existed to alter a target's normal behavior in a way its master found agreeable, as well as providing a baseline for obedience. Creative bots could find loopholes while following orders, but the directives couldn't be broken, which fit with what Soundwave had said. Starscream was definitely creative enough to need the extra layer of control.

Unfortunately, programming them _had_ meant letting Megatron into his head. Not nearly as deeply as Soundwave had gone, perhaps, and Starscream had allowed it, so it wasn't technically hacking. Assuming consent could exist between master and slave, which was debatable. It had been frightening either way, though it helped that Megatron hadn't seemed too happy about it himself. Starscream had expected to be heavily restricted, but only two directives were programmed: He couldn't act against Megatron in any way, and he had to follow plans as presented, without changes of his own. It could have been a lot worse, but that only made him wonder why it _wasn't_ worse, so he tried not to think about it.

On the psychological side, this program was also one of the most dangerous. Not because of glitches, of which there were generally few, but because of the emotional side effects. Given enough time the program would completely take over the emotional cortex, and from there it would dominate the entire social center. During this the slave would become more reclusive and more dependent on its master, gradually losing any and all desire to make its own decisions.

But it was the next part that had Starscream's vents stalling: The longer the program was in place, the more damage it caused to the social center if it was removed. It was a fail-safe, a way to keep escaped slaves from trying to have it removed, and there was no record of anyone recovering fully once it was installed.

This couldn't be real. Tossing the datapad aside, Starscream stood and started pacing his quarters, arms wrapped around himself in an attempt at self-comfort. He was trying to focus on venting normally so he could avoid a heat-induced processor crash, but it was hard. His thoughts kept returning to what he'd read, and he was too worked up for any kind of mental discipline.

Without a doubt, this was the worst thing that had ever happened to him. How could Megatron have authorized this? If he was finally tired of Starscream, it would have been more merciful by far to just kill him. This was just so... "cruel" didn't begin to describe it. "Sick and twisted" was more like it. How deranged would a mech have to be to do something like this to another?

The Seeker groaned, kicking his berth in frustration before sitting down again. His arms tightened around himself as he bent over, pressing his face to his knees and forcing down the mounting panic. If only Megatron would _listen_ to him for once! He would use these databooks to back up his argument, explain every detail in simple terms if he had to, whatever it took to convince Megatron that this program was _destroying_ him. He would go present his case at once if he thought it would fix anything.

But it wouldn't. One word about programming and he would be lucky if Megatron only silenced him verbally. He would never be allowed to speak long enough to make his point properly. But what else could he do? Soundwave and Shockwave were the only Decepticons besides himself who knew anything about coding, but neither was an option. He couldn't change his own coding unless he wanted to create a virus and introduce it to his systems. It wasn't technically impossible to attack specific programs that way, but the risk of it damaging the entire system was too great. It would make a good last resort, but he would prefer something less debilitating.

So what did that leave him? No who could remove the program had any reason to help him, and everyone one else... They most likely wouldn't care that he had been reprogrammed. Some might even think it was about time.

A soft whimper slipped out before he could stop it, but he ruthlessly shoved down the sadness that had surfaced. He didn't need any of them. They couldn't help anyway, so what did it matter whether they cared or not? He was fine on his own.

Of course, he hadn't been fine against Soundwave... but he didn't want to remember that, so he shoved it down too. He didn't need to get caught in _that_ logic loop again. The idea had brought something else to mind though, and his hands fisted against his sides as he mulled over the new idea. Maybe Soundwave _did_ have a reason to help him. The telepath clearly wanted something, and might be willing to assist him in exchange for whatever it was. Soundwave wouldn't go against Megatron's orders, but maybe he could be persuaded to talk to their leader and convince him to have the programming removed.

It was a long shot, and there were so many ways it could go wrong. Soundwave might be refuse to help, or he might ask for more than Starscream was willing to pay. Megatron might ignore them, or punish the Seeker for going behind his back like that. Then there was the question of whether Starscream even had the courage to approach Soundwave with his request.

What if he was wasting his time? It had never been his way to give up without a fight, but what if there was no escape this time? How could he live knowing that he would never again be free?

...Would he even want to?

* * *

"I don't like this," Megatron said flatly. Soundwave sighed in annoyance. He had thought they were past this, but apparently not.

The two mechs stood in Megatron's office once again, safely away from any who might try to listen in. Megatron himself looked thoroughly disgusted, and he radiated anger. Soundwave already knew that he'd been watching Starscream all day and hadn't liked what he'd seen, but the telepath stayed silent. He would have his say when Megatron was done.

"I don't know what you did to Starscream," the warlord continued, but you must have done _something_ more than reprogram him. I've never seen him act the way he did today, and it was only around you. What happened last night?"

As though he cared. He had never done anything but hurt Starscream. He wasn't _allowed_ to care.

"It was necessary to restrain him before reprogramming could commence," Soundwave explained stiffly. "His wing was damaged in the process. Nothing more happened. Query: Why do you care?"

That was the key to dealing with Megatron, Soundwave had found. Accuse him of something as "weak" as caring about another, and many conversations could be redirected, or avoided completely. True to form, Megatron's mindset slid from offensive to defensive, and he shot Soundwave a hard look.

"We've been over this. He's my Second in Command. I need him functioning and able to do his job, _not_ the nervous _wreck_ I saw today."

Well, that was a bit of an exaggeration. Starscream had been jumpy and restless, yes, but that hardly made him a nervous wreck. He'd actually done quite well considering his state of mind. But Soundwave didn't say any of that, and after a few moments Megatron continued.

"If you truly did nothing else to him, then the only cause for his behavior today was the reprogramming. Yet I clearly remember you telling me that it would _not_ have any seriously negative impact on him. Several times in fact. But after you left him here this morning, he almost had some kind of breakdown right in front of me. That isn't normal, and I'm beginning to wonder if this was a mistake."

The warlord's voice was hard, his emotional field angry, and Soundwave was feeling a bit miffed himself. Most likely Megatron had said or done something hurtful and Starscream had been too stressed to deal with it. But perhaps part of the blame _was_ Soundwave's; he'd neglected to mention that reprogramming was much like physical surgery. The modified mind delicate and painful at first, just like fresh welds. Right now Starscream was fragile, mentally and emotionally, and he probably couldn't handle Megatron's normal treatment of him.

Of course, the omission had been deliberate, so Soundwave couldn't come out and say that. He was actually counting on Megatron to push Starscream in his direction through sheer ignorance. But he did need to say _something_ to appease his leader, so he replied,"Starscream was afraid to be reprogrammed. He has yet to accept that it happened, and may try to fight it. He only requires time to adjust."

"But how long will that _take_?" Megatron asked impatiently. "Thanks to the last raid's failure, we need to launch another as soon as possible. We don't _have_ a lot of time."

"Time required: varies by mech. If you wish it, I will help him adjust," Soundwave said. Megatron frowned, then delayed answering by gathering a few reports from his desk. The telepath waited patiently, listening to his unspoken doubts and feeling sure that he wouldn't voice any of them.

Sure enough, all he said was,"How can you help him when he seems to be afraid of you?" A detail which didn't bother him near as much as the question of _how_ Soundwave intended to help. But asking about that would make it seem like he cared, and he'd already been accused of that.

Soundwave couldn't help but smile slightly at his leader's foolishness. Caring was not the weakness Megatron believed it to be. If it was, the Autobots would have been defeated long ago. Maybe he would live long enough to realize that, but probably not.

"I will speak to him," Soundwave said. "Status: important. He and I still have to work together, so he has to accept what I did." He coupled his words with a telepathic nudge, reminding Megatron of his own trustworthiness. After a few moments the warlord gave a slow nod, seemingly convinced.

"Alright. You seem to know what you're doing, and you've never failed me before. But I'm trusting your judgement on this. If something goes wrong, it's on _your_ head."

"Acknowledged."

* * *

Starscream had decided to risk talking to Soundwave. He didn't want to, and a large part of him recoiled from the very _idea_ of being alone with the telepath, but he had to. This was the only thing he could come up with that might work, and time was against him. If he wanted the program removed with minimal damage he had to act sooner, not later.

So now he was standing outside Soundwave's quarters, wishing he had more choices. It wasn't too late to go directly to Megatron, but he had already determined that it wouldn't do any good. He was beginning to wonder how much the new program was influencing that decision though, because the uselessness of arguing had never stopped him before. Nothing had changed except for that one thing, and he shivered when he realized his behavior was already being affected. He _had _to get things put right.

If only there was another way...

He was still standing there, fighting with himself, when a hand on his wing jolted him from his thoughts. He spun around, cursing himself for zoning out again, and stumbled back when he found Soundwave standing in front of him. Then he felt the cold press of the wall behind him, and suddenly the hallway was gone. He was back _there_, struggling as he was pinned against his door, a single sheet of metal between him and escape, and he _just wasn't strong enough_...

Little by little he became aware of arms around him, holding him as he fought and begged to be let go. His own arms were trapped against his chest, and it slowly sank in that he couldn't kick because he was sitting. Finally he remembered that what he was fighting had already happened, and his panic was replaced by despair. His struggles subsided into full-body shudders as his vents stuttered and stalled. He couldn't _live_ like this! He just _couldn't_!

"Calm down," Soundwave said, sternly but quietly. "You'll damage your systems that way." Then, when that yielded no results, he raised a hand and began lightly stroking the back of the Seeker's head. At first Starscream cringed away from the touches that inevitably brushed his access panel, but he gave up when they kept coming. He just stared at his own hands, curled into useless fists against Soundwave's chest, and wished he had been smart enough to stay away.

He paid no attention to his chronometer, so he had no idea how long they stayed there. After glancing around and spotting a desk on the edge of his vision, he didn't even care much. They weren't in the hall, so no one was going to see them, and it barely registered that he was apparently in Soundwave's domain. All that mattered was gathering the memories related to his flashback and hiding them, burying them under less painful recollections and hoping they would stay there until he was ready to deal with them. Which would probably be never. Nothing that hurt so much was worth revisiting.

He felt calmer by the time he was finished, perhaps more so than was normal for the circumstances. He couldn't stop trembling though, and the sensation of being trapped kept his fear alive. He was sure that his proximity to Soundwave was the problem, and he wanted to pull away, but something stopped him. He opened his hands and pressed them against the other's chest, ready to push off, but...

"Why are you doing this?" he asked, doing his best to keep his voice steady. "Why are you being _nice_ to me?" The question felt strange to ask, but he had to. He couldn't handle the uncertainty along with everything else.

"I do not wish to see you like this," Soundwave said. "Megatron has gone too far this time."

Starscream scowled a little at that, taking it as an insult to his intelligence. "I want the truth, Soundwave!"

"Suggestion: let me explain. I know the dangers of reprogramming. I argued against it. However, Megatron doesn't care how well you function as long as you can no longer resist him. I had no choice once he threatened to send you to Shockwave."

"But..." Starscream shuddered, curling in on himself as a strong sense of hopelessness welled up inside him. If that was true, there was nothing Soundwave _could_ do to help him. He was trapped. Something about that story _did_ seem off, but he was too distressed to figure out what.

"Why?" he whispered, slumping lower and resting his head between his hands. "Why did he... What did I _do_?"

Soundwave remained silent for a moment, hand stilling on the Seeker's head. Then he resumed his careful petting and said, "Did you ask him that?"

Starscream hesitated this time, unsure how he should answer. He was better at reading vocal tones than movements, and he didn't like the way that question was asked. There was an edge to that otherwise flat voice that unnerved him, leaving him reluctant to say anything. So he stayed silent, flinching away from Soundwave's hand when it moved to his chin and forced him to look up. The arm around him tightened at the same time, and every story he had ever heard about optical contact aiding telepathy came back to him. He shoved hard against Soundwave's chest, shutting off his optics as he tried to turn his head away. But he was so _tired_... What had the telepath done while they were talking?

"Starscream, it's alright," Soundwave said soothingly. "Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you."

"Stop _saying_ that!" Starscream burst out, still straining against the arm pinning him. "You keep saying that, but you keep doing it! What- what did you _do_ to me?"

"You need rest. A poor physical condition is more stress than your mind can handle right now." The hand on his face shifted, the thumb rubbing gentle circles under his optic, and he couldn't move away; he'd already turned his head farther than what was comfortable.

"Your frame understands things your mind doesn't," Soundwave continued softly. "Your mind is afraid of me, but your frame recognizes and accepts the comfort I'm offering. Combined with your exhaustion, recharge is a natural outcome."

Starscream wanted to argue that, but it was hard to dispute something that actually seemed to be happening.

His mouth worked silently for a few moments before he managed, "It was still deliberate though."

"You don't need to fear me. I only wish to prove that." Soundwave's hold loosened somewhat, and Starscream briefly considered bringing out the acid now that his arms had more mobility. But he wasn't stupid enough to provoke a fight he could neither escape nor finish, so he stayed still, trying to think of a way out. It seemed like his only option was to play along though, and he resigned himself to it with a sigh.

"You won't do anything?" he asked quietly, not having to fake his nervousness. It wasn't like he could do much to defend himself, even if he had to.

"Negative," Soundwave replied. "Nothing will happen. I promise."

Starscream didn't believe him, but he gave a small nod and forced himself to relax. His instincts were screaming that Soundwave couldn't be trusted, and that coming here had been a bad idea, but he allowed himself to be resettled against the telepath's chest. If nothing else, he was used to doing things he didn't like in the name of self-preservation. He just had to avoid similar situations in the future.

It was almost frightening how quickly his frame relaxed once he made a conscious effort to stop resisting. He knew that it was dangerous, that one should _never_ drop their guard around a proven enemy, yet somehow he was doing just that. He had to have been glitching or something, because there was no way he would still be here if he was thinking straight. He tried to stay awake, regardless of how tired he was, but it soon proved useless.

His last thought before darkness claimed him was to hope this wasn't a big mistake.

* * *

Soundwave gazed silently at the now-motionless Seeker in his arms, optics dim behind his visor. It had taken a lot of telepathic proding to get Starscream calm enough to even speak with after that flashback, and one wrong move had almost set him off again. Getting him to sleep had been harder by far, and it wouldn't have worked if he hadn't been so worn out. Maybe not even then, under normal circumstances. But that was why he had established an empathic link with Starscream after Ravage told him how badly the Seeker was coping. Such a link was basically a direct tie to another's emotional cortex, making them easier to influence than usual. Given how badly Starscream had reacted to his appearance earlier, it seemed to have been a good idea.

The blue mech sighed, shaking his head. He was pretty sure Starscream didn't know why he had been reprogrammed, and it had to stay that way. Megatron was easy enough to deceive, but Starscream wouldn't be so trusting if he found any inconsistencies. He really was too clever for his own good sometimes.

Soundwave shifted his grip on Starscream, leaning him more against one arm and brushing his fingers over the flier's face. Sometimes Starscream reminded him of a rebellious youngling; good at getting into trouble, but not so much at getting out. What the Seeker needed was proper guidance, someone to help him off the self-destructive path he was on. But no one cared enough to do that.

Until now. Starscream was too used to abuse to see it, but he really did want to help him, and eventually the younger mech would realize that.

He just needed to make sure Megatron didn't interfere.

* * *

**We were kind of blurring the line at the end, but I wanted to say that there will be no slash between Soundwave and Starscream. I just figure that since he's a telepath who caries other bots in his chest, Soundwave's idea of personal space and privacy are a bit different from the norm. His intentions are... well, as innocent as the circumstances allow.**

**Anyway, next time we'll finally get an unbiased account of what Megatron really thinks of all this, and a few more characters will show up too. But since this story is getting about as dark as an arctic winter, I'm taking a short break to write something more lighthearted for the holidays. The next chapter will come out sometime after that.**


	4. Struggles Inside

**First off, if you read chapter three _before _Nov 25th_, _you read an incomplete chapter. Several paragraphs were somehow deleted from the last update, and had to be replaced. If you first read after the 25th, you're fine. If not, you may want to go back and reread what happened after Starscream's flashback.**

**That said, I was honestly surprised that some of you expressed disapointment when I took my break. So, in appreciation, here's a nice long chapter for all of you. At 5000+ words, it's the longest chapter I've ever written, so I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

The walls between  
You and I  
Always pushing us apart  
Nothing left but scars  
Fight after fight  
-The Older I Get, Skillet

* * *

Starscream sat motionless in the darkness, crosslegged on Soundwave's berth. His optics, dim and narrow, were fixed on the floor where the telepath lay recharging. His own recharge had been fitful at best, haunted by memories of being trapped and helpless while a cold presence invaded his mind. He'd awakened some time ago, too scared to move, or even make any sort of noise. He was glad of that now, because it meant he hadn't woken Soundwave. Ravage had been awake already, but the felinoid had done nothing except watch him from the foot of the berth, so he mostly ignored the small bot.

That paralyzing terror had long since faded, reduced to a level he could handle. But this was a good fear, one that made him cautious without clouding his thoughts. If he had to be afraid, this was safer than the near panic that brought him to this room in the first place. He would never have come here if he'd been thinking straight, and wasn't even sure now why he _had_ come. The moment was over, and the mindset couldn't be reclaimed.

Still, there was a coldly pragmatic part of him that felt some good had come of it. He had learned that Soundwave couldn't - or _wouldn't_ \- help him, and that the telepath had done far worse than merely follow orders. Soundwave could claim that he argued against this all he wanted, but if that was true, why was Starscream now under the influence of one of the most despicable programs ever written? It was a safe bet that Megatron didn't know one program from another, so Soundwave had to have chosen it. But if he truly hadn't wanted to do this, why would he choose _this_ one?

Starscream wasn't going to ask. He didn't care _why_ Soundwave had done it. All that mattered was that he had, and it clearly wasn't disturbing his rest.

The Seeker lowered his head, shifting his gaze to his own fisted hands. He could feel the anger building inside him, a familiar heat burning through his circuits. He welcomed it. But this was neither the time nor the place to release it, and he knew he wouldn't be able to hold it for long if he stayed here. So he finally moved, shifting quietly to the edge of the berth. Ravage moved too, crouching low and growling softly. Starscream shot him a glare, wings rising in a threatening display of his own.

"Shut up," he hissed irritably. "All I want is to get out of here. I'm not about to _attack_ anyone!" Not that it wasn't tempting, he added silently. He stepped around Soundwave as quietly as he could manage, then slipped passed a large monitor sitting on a table. Laserbeak and Buzzsaw were perched in front of the monitor, and he could see Rumble and Frenzy crowded together in the desk chair.

With so many bots around he was sure he would wake _someone,_ but he finally made it to the door and looked back at Ravage. The felinoid had never once dropped his gaze from the Seeker, and they stared restlessly at each other for several seconds after optical contact was made. Then Ravage settled again, lowering his head in a way that looked remarkably like a nod, and the door slid open. Starscream narrowed his optics, confused and suspicious, but his desire to escape overrode his uneasiness. He slipped out into the hallway, and was already walking when the door shut behind him.

Starscream hadn't realized how afraid he was of being caught until relief drew the tension from his frame. His wings drooped low as previously taut cables relaxed, and it was easier to be quiet now that his joints could work more smoothly. But as glad as he was to be out, the restless fear refused to be soothed.

He _had_ to find a way out of this mess before it drove him insane. He didn't know how much of his behavior tonight had been his usual instability, nor how much had been influenced by the program. But he did know that it would only get worse, and that his ability to fight back was limited. After all, he was technically a slave now, and all slaves shared certain characteristics: They couldn't refuse a direct order from their masters, nor harm the bot who "owned" them. If Megatron told him to do something, he would have to do it, even if it went against his very nature.

Well. In theory. There were recorded cases where slaves _had_ been able to act against their programming, but those involved extreme circumstances. In the majority of such cases, the bots in question were trying to help someone they cared about, and not all succeeded. It was almost strange, though, the things some bots could do when friends and loved ones were in danger. In a way, Starscream could understand it. He knew first hand how fear for one's friends could motivate a mech. But that would never work for him now, and the sad truth was, it was all his fault.

Looking back, he wasn't entirely sure what had possessed him to damage his own coding. From a purely factual standpoint, he knew he did it to avoid the pain of caring about others. He did it because he was hurting after Skyfire's disappearance, and the fledgling war had left him afraid to get close to anyone. He did it to avoid the trauma of killing and seeing others killed. Did it because he wanted to join the Decepticons as a warrior, not a scientist, and warriors had to be strong.

He knew that he'd been in a bad state of mind, mourning his lost friend and hating himself for abandoning the search. He remembered wanting desperately to never feel like that again. But he just _couldn't_ recall why he'd thought reprogramming himself was the answer.

Of course, "reprogramming" wasn't the right term. That had been his first - and only - attempt at using a virus to change coding, and it had actually worked. Sort of. He'd lost some code that he had meant to keep, and a few lines survived that shouldn't have, but the end result had been good enough. He couldn't easily get close to others now, much less care about them, and it was better that way. He was a social mech at spark, he couldn't do anything about that, but he was fine as long as he could keep his distance emotionally.

There were times though, bad times like this, when he wondered if he had been suffering from temporary insanity when he did that. Sane mechs didn't go around damaging themselves, especially in such major ways. Sane mechs didn't refuse to have the damage repaired while struggling to get through a simple conversation. _Surely_ he could have coped with things the same way other bots did. _Why_ did he have to take such extreme measures?

Why was he thinking about this anyway? It was ancient history. Old news.

...How long had he been standing outside his quarters like an idiot?

"I'm losing my mind," he muttered, typing in the door code. "Thanks a lot, Soundwave."

All he could think to do about his current situation was carry on as normally as possible until he could figure something out. It would do him no good to panic about it like he'd been doing, and it might actually make things worse. He needed to be rational about this.

If only he was better at staying rational when his emotions got involved.

* * *

This was getting ridiculous.

Megatron lowered the datapad he held onto his desk, glaring at the images playing across the screen. He was trying to study the collection of footage Laserbeak had brought back from the _Ark_, having decided to steal the Autobots' matter replicator. But he couldn't concentrate, and he didn't have to look far to figure out why.

Starscream. It was _always_ Starscream.

Giving up on his review for the time being, Megatron shut off the datapad and stood up, moving to the window of his office. There was nothing to see but black water and the reflection of the room behind him, but he didn't care about the view. He didn't even really see it, being too focused on the problem that was demanding his attention.

Megatron clearly remembered the first time Soundwave suggested reprogramming Starscream. It was while the Seeker in question was altering the Combaticons, which, ironically, may have been where the idea came from. Soundwave had voiced concern over Megatron's decision to take Starscream back, especially after his last bid for power came so close to succeeding. But while Megatron had agreed that Starscream needed to be controlled, he had also been sceptical about the proposed solution. Coding wasn't a field he knew much about, and while he would happily order Autobots or renegade soldiers reprogrammed, an officer was a different matter. If anything went wrong, Starscream wouldn't be easily replaced. His exile had proven that much.

Still, Soundwave sold the idea well. He presented it as a method of correction rather than a punishment, something they had every right to utilize after Starscream's long line of transgressions. He had been quite firm in saying that it would have few harmful effects, and those could be dealt with as they appeared. Then there were the benefits: Megatron would never again have to worry about whether or not his Second could be trusted. The endless takeover attempts would stop, giving them all more time to focus on defeating Autobots. The idea of having complete control over the Seeker did appeal to Megatron's desire for power, yet he'd found himself unsure. Even now, when it was already done, he was unsure.

He lowered his head slightly and shut off his optics, feeling the strut-deep heaviness that came from doing too much without sufficient rest. He took what he could, but he never seemed to have time. There were always plans to be made, Autobots to fight, uprisings to stop. Even when he wasn't actively working, there were resources and the state of his army to worry about. He didn't need one Seeker's endless drama on top of everything else he had to deal with. He had hoped that last one would be less of a problem with Starscream reprogrammed, but so far it only seemed to have grown worse.

Maybe he shouldn't have allowed it. But in the end, what choice did he have? Just days ago, Soundwave had come to report that Starscream was plotting again, and that he had something unforgivable in mind this time: Convince the Autobots to help him get rid of Megatron, negotiate a "truce" while he established his leadership among the Decepticons, then turn around and resume the war.

It was exactly the sort of simplistic, deceitful scheme Megatron would expect of Starscream, and of course it was doomed to failure. The Autobots might be willing to "help" if it meant leaving their enemies with a weaker leader, but Megatron would never let it get that far. Nor would Starscream be able to talk his way out of it, because he would be guilty of conspiring with the enemy. It wasn't harmless trickery like the Constructicons helping the Autobot builders with a solar tower that they intended to steal. Megatron wouldn't be able to offer Starscream a way out like he had when the latter teamed up with Red Alert. This time he would have no choice but to kill the treacherous Seeker, if only because he would seem weak if he dismissed something of such magnitude.

Well, maybe he was weak. He could tell himself, and others, that he only kept Starscream around for his usefulness, but that was only part of it. He just didn't _want_ to kill the Seeker. He never had, though he didn't know why. He only knew that if any other mech had tried to form an alliance with Autobots in an attempted takeover, he would have killed them without hesitation. Why was it so _hard_ to treat Starscream the same way?

At the time he merely ordered Soundwave to watch Starscream and report back if he decided to act on his new idea. But he didn't know what he would have done if that disastrous raid hadn't occurred the very next day.

At first the battle had been fairly normal, aside from the number of combatants involved. Megatron had brought a large force in an effort to gather as much energon as they could in the shortest time possible. The Autobots had responded with a sizable force of their own, which included the Dinobots and Aerialbots. With Superion keeping Menasor busy, Megatron, Soundwave, and the Insecticons had been outnumbered on the ground. That hadn't mattered so much when the Seekers were providing air support, but at some point they had stopped. Megatron wasn't sure when, as he'd been busy fighting both Optimus Prime and Grimlock at the time, but he'd eventually noticed that the sky was empty.

He made a mistake then. He'd spotted Starscream and Ramjet fighting together on the ground, placing themselves in more danger at the cost of effectiveness, and had been furious. His only concern was to get the Seekers back where they would do the most good, without the luxury of time to wonder why they weren't still there.

Well, he'd certainly found out.

If he was honest with himself, he knew Starscream had only been trying to keep his unit alive without pulling out entirely. But Megatron had blamed the failed raid on him anyway, because the Seekers hadn't been where they were needed. It was wrong, but it was easier to get angry at someone else than to admit his own mistake.

Still, maybe the raid wasn't a complete failure. Astrotrain escaped with enough energon to fuel the Earthbound troops for a few days, and the battle had also proven to Megatron that he couldn't just kill Starscream. For all his faults, the Seeker knew what he was doing in the air, and training a replacement would take too long. But there was no need to kill him for something he hadn't even done yet, and if reprogramming him was the only way to _keep_ him from doing it... so be it. He didn't like it, and he didn't really believe that it wouldn't damage Starscream in some way, but he had no choice. Nothing else he could do would deter the stubborn flier for long.

So why did it still feel like another mistake?

The warlord gave a low growl of frustration, optics flashing online as he turned from the window. He knew the answer to that question. How could he not after seeing the look on Starscream's face when he accused the Seeker of being the one at fault? The fear, the shocked disbelief, the _hurt_, were all burned into his memory banks. He'd said those things to distract Starscream from the question of why he'd given the order, as well as to convince himself that the troublesome mech deserved reprogramming. It had worked a bit too well on the first point, and not nearly well enough on the second, but what else could he do? Admit that he'd done it so he wouldn't have to kill the Seeker?

Megatron scowled and returned to his desk, picking up the surveillance datapad. For several seconds he stood motionless, glaring at the device in his hand as though it was the cause of all his problems. Then he subspaced it for future study and left the room, silently cursing Starscream's idiotic ideas. He absolutely _hated_ feeling weak, and his reluctance to just get rid of the flying nuisance made him feel exactly that. He also hated to doubt himself, which he was thanks to Soundwave's equally idiotic idea, but it would be far more satisfying to vent his frustration on Starscream.

Besides, he wanted to know how much control he now had over Starscream, and how well the Seeker could resist. He'd come up with a good test, an order Starscream was sure to fight, which he'd meant to give the day before. He had decided to wait after seeing how poorly the flier was handling things, but he was definitely in a more malicious mood today. Starscream wasn't getting off so easily this time.

* * *

The training room was one of the largest rooms in the base. It had everything necessary for simulations and target practice, with plenty of extra space for sparring. It was also close to the med bay, and for good reason: The only rule was that no one was allowed to kill anyone else. For most Decepticons it was a favored place to spend their free time, as well as a place to settle disputes.

For some, however, this last made it hard to get things done.

"Stop, stop, _stop!"_ Starscream burst out furiously. He shoved himself off of Thrust, whom he'd been pinning, and marched over to where Skywarp and Dirge were flailing around on the floor. He stomped hard on one of Dirge's wings, earning a pained yelp, and caught Skywarp around the middle, dragging him off the blue Seeker. He twisted sharply and dropped Skywarp next to Dirge, leveling a weapon at the former when Skywarp looked ready to continue the fight.

"I said _stop,"_ Starscream snarled. "What the frag are you two _doing?_ You," he glared at Skywarp, "You know better than that! When your opponent yields, the fight is _over._ You do _not_ keep pounding them into scrap!"

"He deserved it!" Skywarp protested, but Starscream cut him off.

"I don't care about your stupid personal squabbles! _I_ organized this training session, and you're going to follow the rules I laid down! If you want to slag each other afterward, fine. See if I care. But you can wait till then!"

"What does it matter anyway?" Skywarp demanded, sitting up in spite of the weapon aimed at him. "Thundercracker's the only one of us who gives a frag about honor, so why not fight dirty? That's how we'd fight Autobots!"

"It matters because, as Hook loves to remind me, our resources are limited. If we fight each other the same way we fight Autobots, without rules or restrictions, we're going to need repairs after every session. It's a waste of resources, and it costs us time we could spend training. Believe it or not, I don't just make these rules for fun!"

"Coulda fooled me," Skywarp scoffed. "We all know you love to be in charge."

Starscream was tempted to shoot his insolent Trinemate, but instead he stepped back and lowered his weapon, giving Skywarp silent permission to get up. Then he turned to the other Seekers, who had been watching the confrontation. He cast a cursory glance at Dirge, who seemed more bitter than hurt, then snapped, "As for the rest of you, your performances today have been pathetic! Are you even _trying_ to take this seriously?"

"What's the point?" Thrust asked sullenly. "We're _Seekers._ We attack from the _sky. _Let the _grounders_ do the hand-to-hand fighting, that's what they're there for."

"If that's how you feel, I can schedule some private lessons with Onslaught," Starscream said coldly. "I'm sure he'd be happy to teach you some respect for antiaircraft weapons." Thrust started to reply, but the Air Commander interrupted, indicating two of their number. "Thundercracker and Ramjet have the strongest armor of all of us, and they weren't hit directly. But a _single shot each_ was enough to take them down. Any one of the rest of us would be _torn apart_ if we were hit, even indirectly. But if you want to risk that, Thrust, go ahead. You'll be a good lesson for the others."

The assembled Seekers glanced at one another, and especially at the pair who'd been shot down two days previously. They had only been released from the med bay that morning, and weren't technically supposed to be straining their welds so soon. But Starscream had made no allowance for that beyond letting them fight each other instead of healthier opponents. That was just how the Decepticons worked; unless Hook ordered otherwise, injuries were no excuse to skip training or duty shifts.

At length, Thrust gave a quiet huff and looked away, crossing his arms over his chest. But as he backed down, Thundercracker spoke up. "What about Megatron? It doesn't matter how well we can fight on the ground, he's still going to want us in the air."

Starscream snarled and spun toward the other Seeker, wings high and swept back in preparation for a fight. "Who's the Air Commander, me or him? I don't _care_ what that- that-" But he couldn't go on. Something in him was resisting, unwilling to voice the familiar insults, and he had a good idea what. Some of his anger bled away, replaced by anxiety, but he shoved it aside and grudgingly rethought his word choice.

"If Megatron has a problem with it, he can say so. But until then, I want us out of the air whenever the Autobots bring their new toys with them. And yes, that means we're going to spend more time on our hand-to-hand training. Which we need to do anyway, judging by the way you lot have been fighting. So stop arguing with me, follow the fragging rules, and-"

He fell abruptly silent when the others looked to one side, all of their wings twitching down and back. Limited though his nonverbal vocabulary was, that was a movement he had no trouble reading. It was a sign of both fear and respect, and usually indicated submission to a more dominant bot. But there was only one bot who could get this reaction from all five Seekers, and it wasn't Starscream.

Suddenly very nervous, he turned his head, staring at the doorway that was just visible beyond his wingtip. His own wings lowered when he saw Megatron approaching, but he barely noticed. The warlord appeared to be in a dark mood, and that could only mean bad things. Probably _very_ bad judging by the way those crimson optics were fixed on him. But why? He hadn't done anything the slightest bit treasonous since they last spoke, unless training the troops was now a crime.

Actually, it probably _was_ a crime if he was now expected to get permission before he did anything. But that was stupid, and he irritably crushed the idea. He was an _officer,_ for Primus' sake! He didn't need permission to do his job, no matter what some bundle of code wanted him to think.

He was too busy arguing with himself to notice immediately when Megatron dismissed the other Seekers. He _did_ notice when they hurried from the room, however, and only Ramjet spared him a backward glance before leaving.

Unwilling to look at his leader, he quickly scanned the room for other signs of life. Unfortunately, bots had a tendency to vacate the training room whenever an entire team showed up, so he and Megatron were quite alone. He slowly dropped his gaze to the floor and waited, strangely reluctant to break the silence. Or maybe not so strange, if the fragging program was at work.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Megatron spoke before he could resume his internal argument, and he looked up in surprise.

"Doing what?" he asked, honestly confused. Megatron made an impatient noise.

"You know what I mean. One minute you're fine, the next you just stop. You were doing it all day yesterday, and I want to know why."

It took a moment for Starscream to figure out what he meant. Then he grimaced, cursing himself for not realizing someone might notice his lapses. He had no clue what to say, and his lips moved silently for a few seconds before he managed, "I guess I didn't notice. I just start thinking and then..."

He trailed off, gesturing meaninglessly with his hands while he tried to repress the guilt creeping into his spark. He was _not_ going to feel guilty for lying to Megatron. Besides, it wasn't really a lie. He had no evidence that he was doing anything more than thinking too deeply.

"Does it have anything to do with you being reprogrammed?" Megatron asked bluntly. Starscream folded his arms and stared at the floor.

"Most likely. Bots _generally_ have trouble adapting when they're programmed in ways that conflict with their natures." Even as he said it, he was cringing inwardly at the passive-aggressive reply. He could usually get away with sarcasm, and perhaps some mockery if Megatron was in a reasonable mood, but outright hostility almost always resulted in pain.

So he was thrown off when, instead of hitting him, Megatron calmly asked, "How much do you know about programming?"

The Seeker lifted his head warily, wings flicking as he met his leader's thoughtful gaze. "A lot..." he admitted slowly.

Megatron gave a short nod. "Then tell me something. Will your new programming make you follow _any_ order I give?"

Starscream shuddered and looked away again, this time offlining his optics. He had known, of course, that Megatron would want to experiment with this new level of control. But it was still hard to accept that he couldn't refuse whatever came next.

"The only limits are the ones you set," he said, voice little more than a whisper. "I can't obey an order that goes against the directives."

"So even if I ordered you to attack me, you wouldn't be able to," the warlord mused. "What if I wanted you to do something potentially suicidal? When does self-preservation step in?"

"It doesn't," Starscream said dully. There was nothing more to say on that matter, but Megatron apparently thought otherwise.

"I find that hard to believe," he said. "If an order puts a mech's life was in danger, wouldn't he resist that order?"

"He could try, but... These programs..." The Seeker shook his head. "They take over completely. Adapting takes time, but once it's done, most bots couldn't resist if they wanted to. And usually they _don't_ want to anymore."

"And if the mech was newly reprogrammmed?"

Starscream hesitated, not liking where this was going. "What do you mean?"

Megatron's tone was too casual for the words that came next. "If I gave you a dangerous order right now, would you try to fight it?"

"I- I don't-" Starscream glanced around quickly, searching for some way to avoid whatever his leader had in mind. Then a large hand came down on his shoulder, gripping just tightly enough to hurt, and he looked up with a wince.

"I think you would," Megatron said, answering his own question. "It's never been your way to make things easy when you can fight instead. I would honestly be disappointed if you _didn't_ fight." The pressure on Starscream's shoulder increased, forcing a small cry from the Seeker as he hunched over and clawed at the warlord's hand. Megatron smiled coldly, but his voice was hard when he added, "It would take the satisfaction out of finally breaking you."

He threw the smaller mech to the floor, earning another pained cry when Starscream landed on his still-aching wing. The Seeker rolled off it without thinking, then knelt on the floor and stared fearfully up at Megatron. A small part of him noticed that he was reacting more strongly than usual, but the rest of him only cared about not making his leader any angrier.

Megatron knelt in front of him, face now a hard mask, and rapped a finger against his cockpit. "Open your spark chamber."

"W-what?" Starscream shrank back, optics wide with shock. He had expected _something_ bad after that line of questioning, but _this?_

"You heard me," Megatron said. "Open it and stay still."

He didn't want to. Exposing ones spark to a gladiator, even a former gladiator, was like standing on a hill in a thunderstorm and expecting not to be hit by lighting. It was stupid, crazy, and had a very high fatality rate. But the program, that unwelcome, self-defeating addition to his mind, didn't care about that. It had heard an order, and its only concern now was obeying.

He tried to resist, of course, even knowing how useless it was. It didn't hurt, which surprised him. It was more like being restrained than beaten into submission. But it was effective, and as hard as he fought, it wasn't enough. When his chestplates finally parted, he gave in and just huddled there, head lowered and hands flat on the floor, hoping he would survive this.

He held himself as still as possible when Megatron raised a hand toward him, sucking in a sharp ventilation as a single finger brushed over his spark crystal, barely touching. The action repeated a moment later, more firmly than before, but still undeniably careful.

"So it's true," Megatron muttered, seeming to speak to himself more than Starscream. "I could crush your spark easily, and you know it. But you truly can't do anything to stop me, can you?"

His fingers slid around the fragile crystal as he spoke, and Starscream's vents stalled in expectation of pain. But the contact remained light, silently acknowledging the need to be careful, and Starscream realized in confused amazement that Megatron was trying _not_ to hurt him. He glanced up, sure that he was misreading things, and his disbelief must have showed on his face because Megatron spoke again.

"No, Starscream. I'm not going to hurt you this time. Do you know why?" He paused until the Seeker cautiously shook his head, then continued. "Because believe it or not, I'm not completely sparkless. I'm not going to take advantage of your programming to hurt you, because for all practical purposes, I own you now. That means I'm responsible for what happens to you, and I take my responsibilities seriously. Remember that."

He drew back, removing his hand from the flier's chest and standing up. Then he walked away without a backward glance, leaving Starscream to close his chestplates and wonder what that was about. He would swear Megatron had been even more bothered by just happened than Starscream himself had been, but that was impossible.

Wasn't it?


	5. Lies Told, Secrets Kept

**Well, it took far longer than I had anticipated, but here, at long last, is the next chapter. The previous four chapters have also been edited, but the changes are mostly to improve readability, so it's not necessary to reread them. The only important change is that the brief mention of Starscream as Winglord has been removed.**

**A note on terminology: In my headcanon, Soundwave and Blaster are members of a telepathic race called Empaths. I don't use the racial name very often because individuals are usually defined by the strength of their ability (Soundwave is a telepath, Blaster is a sympath), but the word does come up in this chapter, so I wanted to mention it to avoid confusion.**

**And yes, I named the program. Humans name computer programs all the time, so hopefully that doesn't seem weird.**

* * *

Everything is gonna change  
Nothing's gonna be the same  
What we know is good and gone  
The life we lived has come undone  
-Nightmare, Arshad

* * *

The ability to act was a useful skill to have, and Megatron had learned early in the war that the best actors were the ones who could make themselves truly _feel_ the emotions they wanted to convey. It was a trick he had used many times to add energy and power to his speeches, but it served another useful purpose as well: To hide his true emotions from Empaths like Soundwave. As a general rule he trusted Soundwave, so he rarely felt the need to shield his mind in this manner. But this time, when he called Soundwave to the War Room to discuss their next target, he hid everything he currently felt behind an air of quiet satisfaction. His conversation with Starscream had finally erased his doubts about reprogramming him, but that was all Soundwave needed to know.

The warlord leaned back in his chair, humming thoughtfully as he studied the datapad his Third had just handed him. After a few moments he glanced up at the telepath and asked, "Are you sure the Autobots will turn up for this event?"

"Affirmative," Soundwave replied. "Meetings between human leaders: of interest to Autobots. We have targeted many important humans in the past."

"Yes," Megatron agreed, his voice colored by dark amusement. "A pity the Autobots have come to expect it." He set down the datapad and motioned to the table the two officers were seated at. "I wish to see this meeting place."

The telepath silently activated the holoprojector built into the heavy table, bringing up a three-dimensional image of planet Earth. The hologram rotated so that the Arabian Peninsula faced up, and a red rectangle appeared on the small landmass as Soundwave entered a set of coordinates. The rectangle flashed once, then the hologram flattened into a sea of sand interrupted by a few broad-leafed trees. The image was dominated by a human palace of relatively simple design, with multiple towers reaching towards the sky.

"The meeting is in two weeks," Soundwave said as Megatron studied the desert terrain. "The human prince befriended by the Aerialbots will be in attendance."

"So the Aerialbots will likely be there as well," Megatron mused. "Do we have enough energon to last us two weeks?"

"Affirmative. However, it would be close. Suggestion: stage at least one raid prior to attack."

"I'll keep that in mind. How many Autobots can we expect to be there?"

"Probability of more than ten Autobots attending: low."

"I don't know whether the Autobots are arrogant, or simply stupid," Megatron muttered scathingly. "Still, it shouldn't be hard to draw them out. A Trine of Seekers scouting the area a day in advance should insure a reasonable turnout."

"The Autobots may suspect a trap if Decepticon activity is noticed before the meeting," Soundwave pointed out, but Megatron only laughed.

"Do you honestly believe Prime will care? The fool knowingly walks into traps all the time, and his little hero complex would never allow him to do otherwise. He won't risk endangering the humans simply because we may be planning something. And even if he does expect a trick, he'll never guess what our _true_ target is."

Soundwave didn't reply, and Megatron glanced sidelong at him as he shut off the holotable, silently reviewing the almost curt statements the telepath had made throughout the meeting. Then the warlord smirked in amusement and leaned back in his chair again. "So, Soundwave, what has you in such a bad mood today? Are you still upset with me for doubting you about Starscream?"

The addressed mech tilted his head to one side. "Soundwave: not upset," he said, but Megatron waved a dismissive hand.

"I don't blame you for being angry. After all, you _are_ my most loyal officer. The least I can do is trust that you know what you're doing. But I spoke to Starscream earlier, and he confirmed that he needs time to adjust. You have my permission to do whatever is necessary to help him, though I expect you to tell me beforehand if that involves hacking him again."

Megatron's voice hardened on the last words, and he shot Soundwave a pointed look. The telepath dipped his head in acknowledgement of the order, but did nothing to show what he thought of it. Megatron watched him a moment longer, then laced his fingers together over his chest and continued.

"He's also proven to be just as obedient as you promised. More so than I had anticipated, in fact. Were you aware that his new programming can override his self-preservation instinct?"

This time Soundwave's visor dimmed slightly, as though his optics had narrowed. But his voice was as calm as ever when he said, "Affirmative. Obedience programs were not designed to allow the subject to put its own well-being before its master's."

Megatron snorted. "Call it what it is, Soundwave. What we've done to Starscream is slavery, and pretty words aren't going to change that." He stood up and retrieved the datapad from the table, stowing it in his subspace. "That's everything I need. You can return to your duties now."

He turned and headed from the room without waiting for an answer, knowing the telepath wouldn't argue with such a clear dismissal. He carefully maintained a sense of vague amusement all the way to his quarters, but the moment the door slid shut behind him it was replaced by a rush of uneasiness, irritation and disgust.

This had been a mistake. He knew that now, just as he knew it was too late to undo it. Even if he ordered the program removed, the damage was already done. Starscream would be more rebellious than ever if his freedom was returned, and there was no telling what lengths he would be willing to go to for revenge. But beyond that... being reprogrammed had hurt him, and to remove the program would mean it was for nothing. There was no reason to care about that, but Megatron couldn't seem to ignore the fact that Starscream would suffer whether he was programmed for obedience or not. If that was the case, wouldn't it be better to leave him as he was and avoid the disastrous fallout of freeing him?

Megatron released a tired ventilation and raised one tightly clenched fist to waist-level, staring down at it as he slowly opened it. He had never touched a living spark before. Torn them from the chests of his enemies and crushed them with his bare hands, yes. But that couldn't be compared to _holding_ one, trapping it in the cage of his fingers and feeling the fear-quickened pulse of energy against his palm. He couldn't deny that it had been deeply satisfying to see Starscream so scared and vulnerable, at least at first. But that was before the true magnitude of what he was doing sank in. The Seeker's life had been in his hands, in the most literal way possible, and it still was. A single careless order was all it would take to get him killed, and Starscream would be helpless to stop it. Primus, he couldn't even protect his own _spark..._

Megatron's hand closed again, but he barely noticed. He had meant it when he claimed responsibility for what happened to Starscream. What that meant beyond simply keeping him alive and functioning, he wasn't sure yet. But getting him through the adaptation stage would be a good start.

Which led Megatron to the problem of what he should do about Soundwave. He was beginning to suspect that the telepath was trying to get rid of Starscream, and the fact that he hadn't warned Megatron to be careful with his orders supported that. There could be other explanations, of course, but this seemed the most likely. Soundwave was a loyal Decepticon, and if he thought it would be in the best interests of the faction to deal with a known traitor, he would do it. Even if it required him to go against his leader's wishes.

Maybe it was for the better, Megatron mused as he crossed his barren quarters to sink down on the berth. Starscream certainly deserved it, and Megatron himself obviously had some weakness that kept him from just finishing the Seeker. Maybe it would be better to let someone else do what he couldn't. And yet...

For the most part, Megatron trusted Soundwave. But there were times when he didn't, not completely, and this was one of them. If Soundwave did want Starscream dead, he was going against orders to achieve his goal. If he didn't, he was still up to something Megatron wouldn't approve of, because he wouldn't keep it a secret otherwise. Either way he was hiding something, and he was far better at it than Starscream.

There was a reason why Soundwave wasn't Second in Command.

Megatron shut off his optics briefly, then stood and moved to the desk at the foot of his berth, already knowing that he wouldn't get any recharge. He didn't know for sure what Soundwave was up to, but the telepath had made a mistake by involving Starscream. The Seeker couldn't keep a secret to save his life, and Megatron fully intended to check on him regularly to see how Soundwave's "treatment" was progressing. If he found any sign that Soundwave had hacked him again, or threatened his life, there would be consequences.

_No one_ double-crossed Megatron, even for the benefit of the Decepticons.

* * *

Starscream had retreated to his quarters almost immediately after Megatron left, too shaken by what had happened to risk interacting with others. Having his spark handled without his consent hadn't been as bad as having Soundwave in his head, but it had been bad enough. He could still feel the gentle pressure of a hand on his spark, and it made him squirm uncomfortably to know he'd been touched _there_ of all places. It was practically sparkrape, and that... that was just wrong. But then, so were hacking and reprogramming, and he'd already been subjected to both. Why _not_ throw sparkrape in there too?

The Seeker stared miserably at the ceiling above his berth, hands twitching and curling at his sides as he struggled to make sense of his confused thoughts. Soundwave had claimed that right and wrong had no place in war. Starscream had denied that, but what if he was right? The Decepticons would resort to hacking when other forms of interrogation failed, and they had reprogrammed a few bots too. Was that wrong, or did the war mean it was okay? Either way, how could it _ever_ be right to deal with troublesome soldiers the same way they did enemies?

Starscream had told Skywarp that if they trained the same way they fought, they would need repairs after every session. He _knew_ that was true, so shouldn't the same principle apply to hacking? But if it did, how could _anyone_ justify what had been done to him? Even Shockwave wouldn't be able to do that, if only because it was illogical to damage one's allies. So how could Megatron and Soundwave do it?

Starscream rolled onto his side and stared unseeingly at the wall, optics dimmed by sad confusion. He just didn't understand why all of this was happening to him. What had he done that was so wrong? Maybe he argued a lot, but he really didn't defy Megatron _that_ often, and whatever others said, he wasn't a traitor. He hadn't even done anything wrong lately, at least that he was aware of. Why would Megatron order something like this without provocation? What about Soundwave? Did he really think their leader had gone too far, or was it just another lie? Why had he even lied in the first place?

There were too many questions Starscream didn't have the answers to, and that included the most important question of how he was going to get _out_ of this mess. Soundwave obviously wasn't going to be any help, and Megatron had made it clear that he wanted to see the Seeker broken, so there was no point in talking to him. Shockwave... even if Starscream could contact him, he wasn't about to trust his mind to a scientist with a history of performing horrible experiments on unwilling subjects. But there was literally no one else he could go to. He didn't know any other Decepticons who had a working knowledge of coding, or even any influence with Megatron.

Of course, there _were_ other bots in the universe who weren't Decepticons... But there was no point in thinking like that. The Neutrals in the war had long since scattered to the stars, and no Autobot would ever consider helping him. Even if they did, how could he be sure they wouldn't take the opportunity to make their own changes? Anyone who got into his mind would have a chance to frag him up even more than he already had been. How could he risk that? This program needed to be removed, and soon, but how could he trust _anyone_ with his mind after what Soundwave had done to him?

He rolled again, flicking his wings out of the way as he settled on his front. Then he shut off his optics and hid his face in his arms, trying to ignore the hollow ache clawing at his insides. There was no way out, was there? This program was going to take away everything he was, and he couldn't stop it because he couldn't trust anyone. He was a slave now, less than the lowest bot, and that was all he would ever be. Megatron had finally won.

"This isn't fair," he muttered, not caring how childish he sounded. He had been reprogrammed for no reason he could discern, his own mind was being turned against him, and there was nowhere he could go for help. It _wasn't_ fair, and it was made all the worse by his own extensive knowledge of coding. He had spent more than three decades studying the subject before he finally wrote his virus, and he'd learned even more while recovering from the damage it caused. But everything he knew was _useless_ to him now, just because he couldn't change his own fragging code.

Well. Unless he wrote another virus. But was it really worth the risk? He knew he had trouble responding appropriately in social situations, and another mistake like the last one could shut down his social center entirely. He might _not_ make a mistake, but there was no way to know for sure until it was too late. These things were just too complicated to run accurate simulations for.

He gave a low groan of helpless frustration and twisted until he was on his back again. Then he pressed a hand to his chest and started rubbing the curved glass of his cockpit, wishing he could remove the phantom sensations from his spark by doing so. Why did Megatron have to be so _stupid_ all the time? He was _always_ messing with things he didn't understand, and more often than not it ended badly, but did he ever learn? Of course not! The oh-so-mighty leader of the Decepticons _never_ made mistakes, and it was treasonous to even suggest that such a thing was possible!

For a few moments Starscream glared at the ceiling, fingers curled into claws on his cockpit. Then he gave a low snarl and pushed himself from the berth, beginning to pace as his anger doubled back on itself. _Why_ hadn't he brought up what he'd discovered about this new program when Megatron was asking all those questions about it? He'd been _handed_ the perfect opportunity and hadn't said _anything!_ How did he expect to fix things if he kept panicking, freezing up, and doing crazy slag like going to _Soundwave_ for help?

"Oh, frag it all!" he burst out. He hooked his chair with a foot mid-stride and pivoted, hurling it into a wall with enough force that it ricocheted. Then he kicked the berth as he passed, and slammed his fist into the wall on his way out the door. He needed to break something or shoot something or... _something! Anything_ that would let him stop _thinking!_

His optics brightened and his wings hiked up when he stalked around a corner and saw Soundwave coming toward him. He could think of only one reason why the telepath would be down this way, and that reason shattered any self-restraint he had left.

"And where do you think _you're_ going?" he demanded loudly, coming to an abrupt halt in the middle of the hall. Soundwave stopped as well, head tilting as he regarded the furious Seeker.

"Soundwave: looking for Starscream," he answered calmly. "You were unwell last night. I wished to check on you."

"'Unwell'," Starscream repeated slowly, as though the word was a previously unknown curse. "What an _impactful_ way you have of putting things. Listening to you, one would think I was merely a bit sick instead of having a fragging _panic attack!"_

His voice went up in both volume and pitch as he spoke, hands clenched into fists at his sides. Even as angry as he was, he couldn't quite repress the fear that sent gentle tremors through his wings and down into his hands. But he took a single step forward, then another, trying to pass off the shaking as rage-induced as he began to shout.

"What makes you think I'd want you checking on me anyway? I know what you did! You said you only reprogrammed me because you had no choice, but if that was true, you _wouldn't_ have used the program you did! Slaggit, Soundwave, of all the programs you could have used on me, why the _frag_ did you choose Euthenra's Virus?"

"It was a perfectly legal program before the war-" Soundwave began, but Starscream cut him off with a sharp laugh.

"Oh, well! As long as I was enslaved through _legal_ means, it's okay, isn't it?" he sneered. "Never mind that your 'perfectly legal program' was controversial even among slave owners! It was illegal in five City-states which permitted the use of slave programming, and why? Because unlike all the other 'legal' programs, this one doesn't just control a bot's body, it frags up their _minds._ How could you _do_ this to me?"

"You ignore the reasons why it was legal in other City-states," Soundwave said as Starscream stopped advancing just out of armsreach, glaring murderously up at him. "It has a low glitch-rate and is only damaging when removed. Subjects eventually obey their masters willingly, and grow content in their roles. It is less cruel than programs which bring about obedience through force."

"But it _does_ use force!" Starscream screeched slightly hysterically. "It's _forcing_ me to change my habits and emotional responses, and- and how can you say it's not damaging? Does mental and emotional damage mean _nothing_ to you?"

"Starscream, calm down," Soundwave said sternly. "Your systems can't handle this much stress right now." He stepped forward, but Starscream ducked around him and quickly backed away, raising his weapons as Soundwave half-turned to watch him.

"Stay away from me," the Seeker hissed savagely. "It's your fault that I'm like this. _Yours._ You hacked me, you fragged me up. I can't handle stress because of you, and I _am_ stressed because of you. You say you want to help me? Then leave me alone. Because I don't want anything to do with you."

"You're overreacting-" Soundwave began, but those two words were more than Starscream could take.

"I FRAGGING WELL AM _NOT_ OVERREACTING! And if you think I'm going to just _forgive_ you after what you did, think again! I'd have to be completely insane to even _consider_ it! Just stay away from me and stop acting like you're on my side! It's _sickening!"_

He didn't wait for a response, already turning away as he spat out the last words. He stormed down the hall as though the possibility of being attacked from behind had never occurred to him, when in reality it was all he could think about. But nothing happened, and as soon as he turned the nearest corner, he ran. He ran from the fear that had rooted so firmly in his spark and the claustrophobic feeling of being trapped in his own body. Ran from the nagging thoughts that said he would regret losing his temper, and that he was asking to be hurt again. He ran from the dark impulses that would prefer any kind of physical pain to the wounds inside, the ones no medic could mend.

He ran, but he couldn't escape.

Maybe he never would.

* * *

This, Soundwave reflected, was exactly why he'd checked the security cameras to make sure this sector was empty before coming to speak with Starscream. The temperamental flier always transitioned from fear to anger sooner or later, and Soundwave had known there would be a lot of shouting when it happened. Given the nature of Starscream's rant, it seemed to have been a good thing that he made sure no one was around to hear it.

There was no reason to stay here any longer, so Soundwave went back the way he'd come, visor dimmed in thought. It was inconvenient that Starscream had figured out which program had been used on him, but not unexpected. His reaction to that knowledge was no surprise either, considering how Vos had been one of the City-states in which obedience programs were illegal. But the _extremity_ of that reaction made no sense. There were countless shell programs which hadn't been legal in any City-state, ones which were designed to cause pain or override a bot's personality entirely rather than merely influence their behavior. Some could even kill the subject. In many ways Euthenra's Virus was one of the most benevolent programs of its type. So why was Starscream acting like Soundwave had tried to kill him?

Well, no matter. His anger had been accounted for, and even if Soundwave couldn't gain his trust, the program would take care of that once the telepath was registered as his master. The real problem was his stress levels, not his refusal to be anywhere near Soundwave. Some form of intervention would be required if he didn't calm down soon, and Soundwave would rather not have to do anything that might scare him again. Perhaps it _would_ be best to give him some space, at least for a few days. Starscream clearly believed that he'd been damaged in some way, and he had a habit of retreating into isolation when he was injured physically. His current agitation could easily be a manifestation of that same behavior.

Soundwave entered the Command Center and glanced around, taking note of Starscream's absence. If Soundwave's theory was correct, the Seeker would probably be working from his lab for the next few days. The telepath knew he was still on base though, because Frenzy was watching the security cameras from Soundwave's office. He would call if it looked like Starscream was heading out.

There was no sign of Megatron either, which Soundwave observed in disgust. He wanted to believe that the warlord was still concerned about the state of the army. He really did. But it was hard when Megatron was rarely around unless there was a plan to put into motion. He never seemed to think about _anything_ except his next plan.

Well, that wasn't entirely true, Soundwave thought darkly as he seated himself in front of a monitor. He had been watching the cameras personally when Megatron went after Starscream in the training room, and he knew what had happened. Soundwave had known that that Megatron would abuse his new power over Starscream, at least in the beginning. But what he'd seen was just disturbing, and it was made more so by Megatron's satisfaction during the strategy meeting afterward.

Soundwave glared at the screen in front of him as he got to work, still turning this worrisome new variable over in his mind. With any luck at all, Megatron would lose interest in tormenting Starscream now that the Seeker could no longer respond in the way he was used to. But how much danger would Starscream be in until they reached that point?

* * *

**As you can probably guess, Euthenra's Virus was named after its developer (Euthenra was derived from euthanasia). Though not a true virus, it became known as such in scientific circles because of its side effects. Most bots neither know nor care what individual programs are called, which is why Megatron never asked Soundwave about it.**

**Also, horrible though the idea is, shell programs which can kill are canon. The concept was used in Beast Wars.**

**Anyway, in the next chapter we'll get some new perspectives from a couple bots who don't know what's going on. Hopefully it won't take another nine months to write this one.**


	6. Wounds Concealed

Traditionally, the goal for National Novel Writing Month is to write a novel of 50,000 words in 30 days. My goal for NaNoWriMo was to get this chapter finished. It's not much of a goal, I'll admit, but I'm happy to say that I achieved it. Maybe next year I'll try for two.

* * *

Polarized  
We are existing  
In two different worlds  
Where do we go from here?  
I need to know  
"When truth lies" - Vanishing Point

* * *

Starscream stood motionless in the hall outside the rec room, leaning back against a wall as he stared at the doors in front of him. He hadn't been there for very long, a minute at most, but the fact that he was hesitating at all bothered him far more than he would care to admit. It wasn't like he had a _reason_ to hesitate. Public areas were the safest places to be if Soundwave was up to something, and he had no desire to be alone after everything that had happened recently. So why was this so hard?

The Seeker lowered his head to stare at the floor, fingers curling against the wall behind him. Two weeks. It had been almost two weeks since his reprogramming, and he had no idea how he was going to make it another two. The days were spent trying to do his job while avoiding both Megatron and Soundwave, and at night he holed up in his lab, unable to make himself return to his quarters. He'd tried recharging in a chair with little success, and the lack of rest combined with constant stress was beginning to wear down his systems. As if that wasn't bad enough, he seemed to have picked up a couple viruses when Soundwave forcibly bypassed his firewalls, and he hadn't even noticed them until they became active because he'd neglected to run a diagnostic after being hacked. So on top of everything else, he'd spent the last week trying to hide the symptoms while working on antiviral programs that would attack the viruses without targeting his own code. Which wasn't as easy as it should have been, because the stronger of the two was corrupted to the point where he couldn't even tell what it was originally.

He wished he could say that the worst of his troubles was his inability to find a way out of his situation. But it wasn't. All of his ideas were unworkable at best, and everything else he had to fight with was making it increasingly hard to hold his desperation in check, but it wasn't the worst part. Not really.

Starscream shut off his optics and cycled a slow ventilation, bracing himself. Then he pushed off from the wall and stepped towards the rec room doors, which slid open at his approach. The room beyond was a large space which contained little besides the necessary tables and chairs, and Starscream habitually swept his gaze over the occupants as he entered. Seeing no sign of either Soundwave or Megatron, he then headed for the energon dispenser at the back of the room, making a point of keeping his head up and wings high. No one would suspect anything was wrong unless he gave them reason to, and he was determined that no one would ever find out what had happened to him.

He glanced around again upon reaching his destination, then removed a data chip from subspace and inserted it into a slot on the dispenser. Everyone on base had been assigned a similar chip to insure that they couldn't take more than their allotted rations, and with so many frametypes using the same dispenser, the chips also served to tell the machine what the fuelling requirements of their holders were. The system couldn't account for the needs of individuals, but it was better than giving the same fuel to vastly different models and expecting them all to function normally.

A tube of additives rolled out of a chute placed next to the filling cube, and Starscream picked it up absently before turning to stare out at the other bots in the room. How would they react if they knew what he'd been reduced to? They would never follow his orders again, that much was certain. No one would obey a mech who was weak enough to be hacked, let alone reprogrammed. They might even demand that he be stripped of his rank and relegated to the bottom of the hierarchy, because that was where slaves belonged. If any of them found out about this...

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the doors opening, and he quickly turned his attention to the entryway. He relaxed a little when he saw that it was only Dead End and Breakdown, but didn't stop watching them until they moved toward the table where the other Stunticons were messing around. Then, satisfied that there was no threat, he turned back to the energon dispenser, wings twitching anxiously as he put his back to the doors. If Soundwave came in, or Megatron, he wanted to know about it. He didn't want to be taken by surprise again, especially after Soundwave had triggered that flashback. Of course, that might have been caused by the door he'd backed into, and not by Soundwave himself. Or maybe it had been the combination of the two that had brought the memory back in such force. Whatever the case, he didn't want to go through it again. Living it once had been bad enough.

It seemed to take forever for his cube to finish filling, and he felt a rush of relief when he was finally able to retrieve it and turn away from the dispenser, bringing the doors back into view. But that relief was replaced almost immediately by anxiety as he scanned the assembled mechs again, wondering if any of them had noticed anything strange about his recent behavior. If they had, how hard would it be to figure out that he'd been attacked?

_This_ was the worst part of being reprogrammed. The anxiety when he was around people, the struggle to pretend everything was normal, the fear of what would happen if he was found out. He could handle the solitude. He could cope with the aftereffects of being hacked. He could even forget about the new coding if he was sufficiently absorbed in his work. But it hurt to see everyone around him going about their lives like nothing had changed, and it was a pain he didn't know how to deal with.

He made his way along the edge of the room to a corner table, trying to ignore his surroundings, but unable to stop watching the other mechs out the corner of his optic. Once he was seated he allowed himself a few moments to properly survey the room, then turned his attention to his energon. The sharp, faintly metallic scent of the fuel made his tanks churn in protest, but he ignored it, just as he'd been doing for the last several days. He couldn't afford to lose recharge _and_ miss meals.

His hands shook as he broke the seal on the additive tube and poured the powdered metals into the energon. The trembling was slight enough that even someone standing right next to him wasn't likely to notice, but he still had to resist the urge to make sure no one was looking. He _had_ to act like nothing was wrong, no matter how torn up he was inside. It couldn't be too hard; he was used to pushing down pain and burying it until it stopped hurting. He was good at it. All he had to do was forget what it felt like to be hacked, or at least forget how terrifying it had been. But how could he when the memories wouldn't leave him alone?

He swirled the cube to mix in the additives, resting his chin in his free hand as he studied an oil stain on the table. His fear of being found out may have been the worst thing about all this, but his fear of the past was a close second. He hadn't had any more flashbacks, thank Primus, but the nightmares were another story. It was hard to fall asleep in a chair, and the idea of being so vulnerable if Soundwave came after him again made it harder still. But it was almost impossible when he knew what was waiting for him as soon as he dozed off. After the last attempt he'd decided to give up on recharge entirely, regardless of the effect on his systems.

He huffed a sigh and drained a third of his cube in one go, then set it down while his tanks decided what they would do with the energon. His overheated systems had already rejected fuel once, and he didn't want to waste the entire cube if it happened again.

"Starscream. I would like to speak to you."

The Seeker groaned inwardly when Hook's voice penetrated the haze around his mind. Out of all the mechs he wasn't actively avoiding, why did the surgeon-turned-medic have to be the one who approached him? If anyone was going to realize he was ill, it would be Hook.

"I'm on break," he grunted without looking up. "If you want something, make an appointment."

"Interesting choice of words," Hook commented, and Starscream hissed softly when he heard the Constructicon sit down unbidden. "As it happens, appointments are exactly what I wanted to discuss."

Starscream hummed disinterestedly, hoping the other would go away if he didn't pay attention. When it became clear that he would contribute nothing more, Hook continued. "As you may recall, I decided that the new additions to our ranks made this the perfect time to give everyone a full systems check and viral scan. Unfortunately, certain mechs seem to think it's beneath them to actually _show up_ for their appointments."

"So what?" Starscream asked despite himself. Hook made an impatient sound.

_"So_ the Stunticons' systems are still learning how to respond to and handle abnormal functioning, and the Combaticons' antiviral software is millions of years out of date. A virus you or I would never even notice could easily slip passed their firewalls and cause serious damage. A mech with your history should be _quite_ aware of that."

Starscream narrowed his optics, wings lifting in a silent warning. Hook was one of the very few bots who knew about the state of his coding, thanks to past viral scans, and he had made it very clear that the surgeon should keep that information to himself. It didn't affect Starscream's ability to function, so no one needed to know. Nor did they need yet another reason to doubt his sanity, which was why even Hook didn't know the origin of the virus that did the damage.

"Fine," the Seeker said aloud. "So you don't want anyone transmitting viruses to the poor vulnerable newbies. What does that have to do with me?"

"Well, for one thing," Hook said drily, _"you're_ one of the mechs who refuses to come to his appointments."

Starscream shrugged, having expected that, and picked up his ration. "What's the point? My firewalls are up to date, and I run regular diagnostic scans to catch anything that slips by. _Your_ scans couldn't tell me anything I don't already know." Not to mention the fact that it was too late anyway. If he submitted to a checkup now, he would have to explain where his viruses came from and why he'd failed to run a diagnostic - or better yet, gone in for a scan - after being hacked. Then Hook might discover a certain addition to his programming and-

"Diagnostics can't catch everything," Hook said curtly as Starscream swallowed down the acid feeling in his tanks and returned his untouched cube to the table. "And they can malfunction as readily as any other system. I really think it's time you got checked out properly."

There was something pointed in his tone that Starscream didn't like, and he silently cursed his inability to figure out what was actually bothering him about it. He balled his hands into fists, digging his fingers into his palms in an effort to stay focused, and cycled a slow ventilation. "You said, 'for one thing'," he stated, anxious to change the subject. "You have another reason for bothering me with this?"

Hook's visor couldn't hide the frown that briefly crossed his face, but after a moment he just nodded. "Two others, actually," he agreed. "One being that the Combaticons also refuse to show up, and Onslaught told me that I could take it up with you if I didn't like it."

Starscream forced his hands open, wings flicking restlessly as they returned to their normal height. "Can you blame them? The last time someone messed with their systems they were reprogrammed." His voice faltered on the last word, but he quickly recovered himself and went on. "Anyway, you're wasting your time fighting with them. I updated their software and installed new firewalls while I was working on their code."

"It's not your place to be dealing with such things," Hook began stiffly, but Starscream interrupted him with a snort.

"Oh please. I'm an unlicensed programmer, and your knowledge of coding is limited to recognizing and treating viruses. Any firewall of _my_ design is going to be far superior to whatever _you_ might piece together using outdated medical texts, and we both know it."

Hook stiffened at that and Starscream smirked to better conceal how upsetting this topic was. He leaned forward to brace his elbows on the table, head tilting as he studied the other mech. "So what was your third reason?" he inquired mildly, hoping Hook would just give up and leave. But the Constructicon seemed determined to speak his mind, because after a short pause he gave an exaggerated sigh and drew himself up.

"I've been scanning mechs when they come into the med bay for other reasons," he explained, injured pride dripping from every word. "But it's going to take forever to finish with the checkups at this rate, especially as _certain_ mechs prefer to disappear and tend to their own damage." He paused to give Starscream a hard stare. "The other Constructicons and I have been dragging bots in when we can find them, but one is being _especially_ stubborn about avoiding us. Well, one apart from you."

"You've made your point, but I'm still not coming in," Starscream said flatly, pushing himself upright. "So I assume you want me to send Skywarp in?"

"I would prefer it if you came in and brought him with you," Hook replied, openly ignoring the first half of the Seeker's statement. "It would be far simpler for everyone involved."

"Mm-hm." Starscream stood and picked up his ration. "I'll talk to Skywarp. But we have an officers' meeting in three hours, I'm in the middle of five different projects, and I'm sure our _wonderful_ leader is going to have another plan of attack soon. So I really don't have _time_ for your stupid tests."

"I'll see you in about two weeks then," Hook countered smoothly. "I expect that's how long it will take you to collapse from overwork."

The Seeker's mouth twisted into a sardonic smile. "Your concern is touching, but unnecessary. I know how to take care of myself."

"I've yet to see proof of that," Hook muttered, but Starscream just walked away and pretended not to hear the quiet insult. He couldn't handle one more minute trapped in this pointless conversation, and he really did have a lot of work to do. Antiviral programs didn't write themselves, and he needed to finish the one he was working on before the next mission. Right now he couldn't even activate his comm unit because viruses could spread wirelessly, and while most firewalls would stop the weaker of the two, he didn't know how strong the corrupted one was. It was better not to risk it if he didn't have to.

A small part of him wondered where Soundwave had gotten these viruses to begin with. Why the telepath wasn't affected was obvious: Most cybernetic viruses had to latch onto a specific string of code within a bot's system in order to become active, and Empaths didn't have the right programs to trigger either of the ones Starscream found himself with. Where Soundwave got them was actually obvious too, because his role as Communications Officer meant that he was always picking things up, simply by listening in on all of the wireless transmissions. But he was supposed to get regular scans to make sure his firewalls were holding up, and to catch anything that got through before it could become a problem. It was possible that he could have picked up a virus or two since his last scan, but the odds were against it. So where had they come from? Soundwave wasn't the kind of mech to skip out on medical appointments, but... could it be that he'd been doing just that?

Starscream shook his head and tightened his grip on his cube, dragging himself out of his mind. _Something_ was wrong with Soundwave, there was no doubt about that, but it didn't matter what. An explanation for the telepath's aberrant behavior would be nice, but it wouldn't change the results, and those results were what Starscream needed to worry about. Anything else would only distract him, and he couldn't afford that.

But that small part of him refused to stop wondering, and he had no explanation for the heavy weight of dread that had settled in his tanks.

* * *

Hook frowned inwardly as he studied the results of the surreptitious scan he had run while talking to Starscream. Elevated core temperature, unusually rapid sparkpulse, ventilations slightly irregular... and that was just what could be detected by a surface scan. A message underneath the short list warned that such issues could be caused by a virus, stress, or systems damage, and advised running a more thorough scan. Which Hook would gladly do if he could just get the infuriating Seeker in the med bay for an hour.

He didn't like making guesses with so little information, but judging by how tense and fidgety Starscream had been during the conversation, stress was the most likely cause for his condition. But the listlessness in his optics spoke more of physical illness, and Hook suspected that both problems were at work here. He was sorely tempted to comm Bonecrusher or Long Haul and tell them to get the stubborn Seeker to the med bay by force, but given what he knew about the situation, that would be a very bad idea. His job was to repair mechs, not damage them further, and his professional pride wouldn't allow him to do otherwise. So he really had no choice but to either talk Starscream around or wait for him to deteriorate enough that he wouldn't be able to avoid the med bay any longer.

The Constructicon cleared the results from his HUD and stood up, seeing no point in lingering now that his reason for being there was long gone. Pride or no pride, it was times like this when he wished Megatron would send for a proper medic. Such a mech would probably know exactly how to handle troublesome patients, not to mention possess a far better idea of how to approach cases like this. Hook _wasn't_ a true medic though, and he loathed being forced into a role he wasn't properly trained for. He did his best, but his field was surgery, not general health.

Alone in the hall, he allowed himself a heavy sigh. Maybe if he explained what he already knew, Starscream would be more agreeable. But he would need to get the Seeker alone somehow before they could have _that_ conversation, and he had no idea how to manage it - let alone broach the subject - without making things worse.

He really did hate his job.

* * *

"Hey, Starscream, wait up!"

Skywarp trotted down the hall after his Trineleader, huffing in annoyance when Starscream either didn't hear him or - more likely - chose to ignore him. The black and purple Seeker muttered a few choice words about deaf Trinemates and ran a quick calculation, then activated his warp drive. He came out of time-space in his customary place as Left Wing of the Trine, next to and just behind Starscream, but he didn't stay there long.

"You know, it's rude to ignore people," he said, ducking under one silver wing and making its owner jump. He started to say more, but the words died when he pivoted to face Starscream and found the other Seeker shying away from him. Starscream backpedalled a few steps, staring at his wingmate with such panic that Skywarp froze. Then recognition dawned in the scarlet optics, and the fear morphed into something angry and tense.

"Fraggit, Skywarp, are you _trying_ to get yourself shot?" Starscream demanded. "Don't _do_ that!"

"Hey, I called out when I was all the way over there," Skywarp said defensively, pointing back the way he'd come. "It's not my fault if you weren't paying attention."

A strange mix of worry and disgust flickered in Starscream's optics, and he tightened his grip on the energon cube he held until Skywarp heard the joints in his hand creak. Then the moment was over and Starscream snarled, stepping around the other and continuing down the hall like nothing had happened.

"You had better have a legitimate reason for jumping in front of me," he growled, prompting Skywarp to hurry after him. "Otherwise I might decide to shoot you on purpose."

"Um... yeah," Skywarp relied slowly, trying to remember why he _had_ come looking for Starscream. "Yeah, I needed something for this prank I really _need_ to pull, and-"

"No," Starscream interrupted flatly.

"But you don't even know what I was going to ask for!" Skywarp protested.

"I don't care," Starscream snapped, glaring at him. "You shouldn't go scaring the living spark out of mechs if you want them to help you."

"That was an _accident,"_ Skywarp said impatiently. "Geeze, what's got your wings all bent out of shape?"

He didn't really expect a reply, so he was thrown off when Starscream grunted, "Hook."

"Oh." The black and purple Seeker thought for a moment. "Want me to prank him for you?" he asked, hoping the offer would put Starscream in a better mood. Instead it earned him another glare.

"The last time you pranked Hook, _I_ had to take care of your repairs for a month because you were afraid of retaliation. I won't stop you if you want to be an idiot, but I'm _not_ dealing with the consequences."

Skywarp lowered his wings appeasingly, unbothered by the harsh words. Starscream was always saying one thing, then doing something completely different when hypothetical situations became reality. Skywarp knew that if he needed repairs and refused to go to Hook, Starscream would eventually tend to them himself, and might not even complain too much while he did it. It still helped to stay on his good side though. Especially when Skywarp had a prank to pull, and needed something from the red and silver Seeker's lab to do it.

"So you're mad at Hook and taking it out on me because I scared you," he said matter-of-factly. "What if I apologize? Will you help me then?"

"Not likely," Starscream replied bluntly. Before Skywarp could protest further he added, "But if you stop avoiding your medical exam, I'll consider it."

Skywarp grimaced. "You can't be serious. You've been avoiding yours too, I _know_ you have. So why can't I?"

"That's my price, take it or leave it," Starscream said with a shrug. "But if you take it, I expect you to make an appointment before the day is done. And I _will_ find out when it is, so if you don't go on your own, I'll tell Thundercracker to drag you there."

"I don't think you realize what's at stake here," Skywarp pressed. "The honor of our Trine _depends_ on me pulling this prank!"

"Primus forbid that this Trine is in any way dependent on your pranks," Starscream muttered scathingly. "But if it's so important, you should be more than willing to sacrifice a few hours of your time and comfort to the med bay."

Skywarp glared at him for a few seconds, wondering if this prank was really so important after all. Then he groaned and said, "All right, _fine._ I'll make the stupid appointment. _Now_ will you help me?"

"You'll _go_ to this appointment as well?"

Drat. _"Yes."_

Starscream hummed noncommentally as the two Seekers stopped outside his lab, shifting one wing to block Skywarp's view of the keypad as he entered the doorcode. "Fine," he said at length. "But I need to know what you want, what you're planning to use it for-"

"And don't touch anything, I know." Skywarp lingered in the doorway after Starscream strode through, feeling uneasy about entering the crowded room. It wasn't very big, and the small space was made even smaller by the tables that lined every wall. Under the tables were steel crates full to overflowing with things that had been butchered for parts, and above the tables were shelves of datapads. The tables themselves were littered with more parts, as well as containers of smaller components. Massive cabnets were placed in three corners of the room, while the fourth held a computer console which was set just far enough from the back wall that a bot could fit behind it, allowing Starscream to face the door while he worked. Most of the remaining floorspace was taken up by a tool-covered table in the middle of the room, and projects in various states of completion occupied every flat surface not already taken by something else.

"You've cleaned up since I was last here," Skywarp commented, more to take his mind off his restlessness than anything. Starscream grunted, moving some of the tools on the center table and setting his ration in the resulting space.

"I just rearranged a few things," he said, turning back to Skywarp. "So what is it you need?"

"Acid." Seeing the look on Starscream's face, Skywarp quickly added, "Not anything strong, just something like what etchers use to burn paint into metal."

"Hmm." Starscream briefly considered his Trinemate through narrowed optics, then moved to one of the cabnets, wings held high to avoid hitting anything. Skywarp shifted his weight to one foot and glanced around the room again, then finally ventured far enough in that the door could slide shut.

Contrary to popular belief, Seekers weren't generally claustrophobic. In fact, they actually preferred small spaces when they were feeling scared or vulnerable, and that was exactly why Skywarp didn't like visiting Starscream's lab. Few Seekers had a need for designated safe places unless they had been deeply wounded in some way, and Skywarp hated knowing that his own Trinemate was one of those damaged mechs. Empowered Seekers like him were supposed to look out for their Sigma-less brethren, and this room was a constant reminder that he had not only failed to do so, but that he _continued_ to fail simply by doing nothing about the way Megatron mistreated Starscream. It didn't matter that Megatron was their superior, or that Starscream would refuse aid even if it was offered. All that mattered was that Skywarp's culture expected certain things from him, and he wasn't doing any of it.

The dark Seeker flicked his gaze back to Starscream, remembering his frightened reaction in the halls, and wondered if the other had been spending a lot of time here recently.

"Strong or not, you still have to tell me what you're going to do with this," Starscream said as he sorted through the bottles in the cabnet, reminding Skywarp that they were in the middle of a conversation. "I'm not giving you something only to find out you're going to misuse it."

Skywarp snorted a laugh. "Oh, no worries there. If you do have etcher's acid, I'm going to use it _exactly_ the way it's meant to be used."

Starscream half-turned to frown at him, optics still narrowed suspiciously. "All right, what are you planning to paint?"

"Dirge," Skywarp replied cheerfully, all anxiety forgotten as his impending prank returned to the forefront of his mind. "Well, his whole Trine really. He insulted ours, so now I'm going to humiliate his."

_"Dirge_ insulted our Trine," Starscream repeated slowly. "Are you sure you're not just taking a random comment too seriously? Again?"

"Nope. It was definitely an insult," Skywarp said firmly. "He said, to my face, that this Trine was better off before you took over."

Well, that was a slight exaggeration. Dirge had actually asked if Skywarp ever thought about how different things could have been if he hadn't ceded control of his Trine to Starscream all those millenia ago. But it was something no one ever brought up unless they meant to be insulting, and Skywarp was sick of being criticized for his decision just because Sigma-less weren't supposed to lead Trines. Dirge was one of the few Trineleaders who had never said anything about it, but that only made his recent question harder to tolerate.

Starscream tilted his head, still seeming skeptical about the great offense Dirge had committed. Then he shrugged and pulled a bottle from the cabinet before returning to the center table. "Whatever. I have more important things to worry about than what some cog-headed idiot thinks about our Trine."

Skywarp stared at him. Since when did Starscream ignore blatant attacks on his ability to lead? "Did you actually _hear_ me? Dirge practically _called_ you a bad leader."

"I'm not deaf," Starscream snapped, sounding more normal now than he had a moment before. "But as I _just_ said, I have bigger things to worry about. Now do you want this or not?"

The message to shut up couldn't have been more clear. Skywarp nodded mutely, then almost dropped the bottle that was shoved into his hands. "Instructions are on the label," Starscream continued. "Don't use too much, don't get it on any exposed cables, and for Primus' sake, _return_ it when you're done. I'm tired of coming after you to get my things back!"

Skywarp nodded again, wondering what had Starscream so riled up. It was always difficult to have a civil conversation with him, but his behavior was only this erratic when he was upset. Had something happened that Skywarp wasn't aware of?

"Is everything okay?" he asked before his better judgement could stop him. He knew it was just begging for trouble, but he couldn't help it. He liked to know what was going on, and somewhere under his curiosity, there was a glimmer of concern as well.

"Everything's _fine,"_ Starscream hissed, turning his back on Skywarp and snatching up his ration on his way to the computer. "Or it _will_ be as soon as I fix our glorious leader's most recent _mistake."_

The last word sounded strange, as though he had to force it from his vocalizer, but the sentence as a whole was reassuringly familiar. So Megatron had done something to frag off Starscream again. Business as usual, nothing to see here.

"Well, okay then," Skywarp said. "I'd love to stay and chat, but duty calls. Don't get into _too_ much trouble, okay?"

He warped back to the quarters he shared with Thundercracker before Starscream could respond, and so missed seeing his Trineleader flinch at the careless words.

* * *

"Did you get what you were after?" Thundercracker asked from where he sat on his berth, not bothering to look up from the datapad he was reading when Skywarp teleported in.

"Mission accomplished!" Skywarp confirmed cheerfully, and even though Thundercracker couldn't see the other Seeker, he could easily picture the satisfied grin on his face. The blue flier leaned back against the wall and glared at Skywarp - or, more specifically, at the bottle his Trinemate was holding.

"Why does he enable you?" Thundercracker asked irritably. They both knew who "he" was, so Skywarp merely shrugged as he sauntered over to his own berth.

"Beats me. Maybe he just understands the value of Trine."

"Really," Thundercracker snorted. "I always thought it was because you don't prank him as often when he goes along with your insanity."

Skywarp smirked at him. "Yeah, that's what I just said. I wouldn't resist pranking just _anyone_ you know. Especially when they deserve it as often as Screamer does. The temptation is terrible though."

"Yet somehow, you survive." Thundercracker shut off his datapad and set it aside, frowning at the black and purple Seeker. Skywarp seemed perfectly happy, but long experience had taught his friend how to tell when something was wrong. "So what happened?"

Skywarp paused as he knelt beside his berth. "Did something happen?"

"With Starscream," Thundercracker clarified. "You look like he blew up at you or something."

"Oh. That." Skywarp started pulling paint cans from under his berth. "Nah, he was just acting weird. You know, all jumpy and defensive."

"That doesn't really sound 'weird' to me," Thundercracker said. "That sounds like Starscream getting up to something that'll land him in trouble. Same as always."

"Starscream doesn't do jumpy and defensive unless he's already in trouble," Skywarp pointed out. "Or thinks he is. _Before_ he pulls something he's just loud and obnoxious."

"Again, same as always. You'd think someone as erratic as he is would have more settings than just 'causing trouble' and 'in trouble'."

Skywarp sniggered, but the sense that something was off with Thundercracker's Trinemate didn't go away. The blue Seeker swung his legs over the edge of the berth and leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. "Seriously though. Are you sure nothing's wrong?"

"Yeah." Skywarp paused, frowning at the bottle he'd set next to the paint cans. "Well, okay, there is one thing. Starscream wouldn't help me unless I agreed to set up an appointment with Hook."

"Does he expect you to actually go to it?"

Skywarp scowled and folded his arms sullenly. "Yes."

Thundercracker sighed. "As much as I hate to agree with Starscream on anything, I'm not getting upset with him about that. It won't kill you to get checked out once in a while."

"I don't mind getting checked _out,"_ Skywarp protested. "It's check_ups_ I hate."

Thundercracker groaned and dropped his head into his hands. "You know what I mean."

The black and purple Seeker laughed again. "Yeah, but my version is funnier. And more fun."

"I'm aware that checkups aren't fun. That isn't the point."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. You only want to throw me to the Sharkticons because you love me. Some friend you are."

Thundercracker gave up and lifted his head. "Fine. Have it your way. What's this prank that's so important that you would sacrifice yourself to the Sharkticons just so you could pull it?"

Skywarp's wings lifted immediately. "I thought you'd never ask! You know how Megatron wanted a Trine to fly around Arabia, and Starscream sent Dirge's out? Well, there's a windstorm passing through where they are now, which means they're going to be filthy when they get back."

"Yeah. So?"

"So I'm going to sabotage the washracks!"

The blue flier's gaze flicked from the paint cans to the bottle, then settled on Skywarp. "The washracks. As in, the same washracks you and I use?"

"No, the officers' racks," Skywarp scoffed. "Of course it's the same washracks we use! Don't worry though, all the paint'll be used up on Dirge and his cronies."

"And it will be burned into their armor for Primus knows how long."

"You got it! So what color should I use? I'm thinking a nice cheerful yellow myself."

Skywarp pried the lid off of a can of garishly colored paint as he chattered on. Thundercracker nodded and asked questions in the appropriate places, but he didn't care about the prank. All he cared was that Skywarp hadn't said a word about what was _really_ bothering him. Thundercracker was sure it had to do with Starscream though, and his only clue was that their Trinemate had apparently been behaving strangely enough that Skywarp took note of it. Thundercracker knew he shouldn't have just dismissed that the way he had, but he'd been keeping a close optic on Starscream for days, and he hadn't noticed anything unusual. Had he missed something? Or was this new problem just hidden by all of Starscream's usual issues?

The latter seemed more likely. But whatever the case, Thundercracker was sure of one thing: He was going to be slagged off if Soundwave turned out to be right about this.

* * *

What has Soundwave been telling Thundercracker? And what does Hook know? Well, this chapter would have explained that, but it was getting so long that the scene had to be moved to the next chapter. Sorry. I promise we'll find out next time though, when we get a cassette's perspective on things.


	7. Plans Revealed

**There's not much to say about this chapter, except that it was originally supposed to be a lot shorter, and posted a lot sooner. Then the characters took over and made me redo most of it, including the end of the first scene (the one which was originally written for the last chapter). But in terms of plot, I think this works better.**

**A note on terms: "Doomsday Trine" is my name for the Conehead Trine. Beacause there are other coneheaded Seekers out there, and these guys deserve a proper name.**

**"Slavery Imprinting" is Stockholm Syndrome. The term was coined on Cybertron to describe the illogical attachments slaves often developed to their masters.**

* * *

There's truth in your lies  
Doubt in your faith  
All I've got's what you didn't take  
"In Pieces" - Linkin Park

"Better the devil you know than the angel you don't." - Hama Tutu

* * *

"I still don't get why you don't just _tell_ Starscream what you're up to. Seems to me like he'd help without all this tricky stuff if he knew you wanted to get rid of Megatron."

Ravage twitched an audio, but refused to online his optics when an irritated voice roused him from half-sleep. It sounded like Rumble was arguing with - or rather, at - Soundwave again, and Ravage had no desire to participate.

"Situation: complicated," Soundwave's voice replied. "Starscream wishes to take command for himself. Any alliance would end upon Megatron's death."

"If that's what he wants, why not just _let_ him?" Rumble demanded. "Sure he's not a great leader, but he's gotten us out of bad spots before. If you don't want to follow Megatron anymore, why not just help _him_ take over?"

Ravage huffed a quiet sigh, having asked Soundwave that same question when he first learned about his creator's plan. The answer had been unsatisfactory then, and it seemed completely fragged up now. But apart from that sigh, he remained silent as Soundwave said, "Starscream is capable, but requires supervision. He's a danger to himself and others when he isn't thinking clearly, and needs someone to keep him in check. Ergo: he is unfit for leadership."

"Okay, maybe you've got a point there," Rumble conceded. "But _reprogramming?_ Isn't that kind of an extreme way to keep him from doing crazy stuff?"

"It removes the need to control him through force, and makes it easier to stop him before he goes too far. When the time comes, it will also insure his cooperation in defeating Megatron, and prevent attempts to usurp me afterward."

"And that's the part I don't get," Rumble said. "Why wouldn't he help on his own? He already wants to kill Megatron, so why go to all this trouble to _make_ him help?"

"Several reasons," Laserbeak's voice interjected. "The most important being that Soundwave has a reputation for _loyalty._ Do you honestly think Starscream would believe that he was planning against Megatron?"

"Well... Maybe not," Rumble muttered. "Not at first, anyway."

"Exactly. For another thing, the only way Starscream could ever actually kill Megatron would be on impulse. He's psychologically incapable of it otherwise, with or without help."

"Yeah, right," Frenzy joined in with a scoff. "You make it sound like he doesn't _actually_ want to kill him."

"He doesn't," Soundwave stated. "Starscream desires command, not Megatron's death. If he could attain one without the other, he would."

"Okay, wait a minute," Rumble said. "You set things up so you can take control of him 'when the time comes' and _force_ him to help you kill Megatron? That's... Where does _helping_ him come in?"

"You know how Megatron treats him. It may trouble him at first, but in the long run his life will be greatly improved by Megatron's removal."

Ravage wasn't so sure of that. True, Starscream would live a _healthier_ life without Megatron constantly tearing into him, but their relationship was far more complicated than that of a victim becoming attached to its abuser. Theirs was a connection forged through millennia spent fighting side by side, hurting, helping, hating, and relying on each other in equal measure. Twisted and unhealthy though it might be, it was as powerful as any lovers' bond, and Ravage honestly didn't know if Starscream could recover from its loss. Not without help that Soundwave would never be able to give, no matter how he tried, if he was responsible for that loss.

"What I want to know," Laserbeak said, "is how you expect Starscream to trust you. After everything you've done and still plan to do, why would he?"

"Slavery Imprinting," Soundwave replied easily. "When bots are isolated and scared for extended periods, they will come to accept comfort from any source. Eventually Starscream will turn to me because he has nowhere else to go."

Ravage had to snort at that, but the sound was covered by Laserbeak saying, "Slavery Imprinting usually requires the oppressed to form a positive emotional attachment to its oppressor. Starscream might not be able to do that with his protocols in such bad shape. And even if he could, wouldn't his programming latch onto Megatron as his primary source of comfort?"

"Unlikely. Megatron is not tolerant of weakness. Starscream knows this, and his programming will respond accordingly."

"Yeah, and don't forget what Megatron did to him," Frenzy added. "I dunno about the rest of you, but I'd want to stay far away from anyone who grabbed _my_ spark."

"Be that as it may, this program will leave him reliant on Megatron," Laserbeak said agitatedly. "Who's to say that reliance won't include the fulfilment of his emotional needs?"

"Smaller words, Beaky," Rumble muttered. "Some of us like things simple."

The last part was clearly directed at Soundwave, who seemed completely unconcerned when he said, "Euthenra's Virus does foster some emotional dependence. However, Megatron won't be Starscream's master long enough for it to matter."

An uncomfortable silence followed these words, and Ravage finally lifted his head to survey the office from his place in front of a heat vent. Buzzsaw had accompanied the Doomsday Trine to Arabia, but Ravage could see Laserbeak perched on the edge of Soundwave's desk. Rumble and Frenzy were seated in front of a bank of monitors displaying security feeds, and Ratbat clung to the top edge of one monitor, solemnly watching his creator and siblings. Soundwave himself sat at the desk, seemly focused on a datapad, and definitely pretending not to notice the effects of his casual statement on his cassettes. But Ravage knew they were all aware of the implications it carried, even if no one said anything.

It was Ratbat who finally broke the silence by saying, "What happens if Megatron figures out that you're planning against him?"

All of them, Ratbat included, knew the answer to that. But Ravage could feel his youngest sibling's worry in the empathic bond which linked them all together, and could sympathize with his need to hear Soundwave acknowledge that what he was doing was _dangerous._ They all felt that way, and none of them made any attempt to hide their anxiety and concern. Even though they had learned by now that Soundwave wouldn't listen to them.

"You worry too much," the telepath said now, brushing his mind soothingly over theirs. "Megatron has no reason to suspect me of treachery. But that's part of why Starscream can't know about this. He's always had trouble keeping secrets from Megatron, and it will be harder for him now. It's safer for him, and us, if he doesn't know anything until it's time."

That was too much. Ravage stood and trotted up to the desk, approach silenced by the rubber pads on his paws. He leapt onto the desktop, then crouched low and fixed Soundwave with a reproachful stare. "You're not telling us everything either."

"It's safer," Soundwave repeated, regret seeping into their connection. "I don't believe any of you would betray me, but it's better that you know as little as possible."

"You think something might go wrong then?"

"No plan has a one hundred percent chance of success. If the worst happens, I have no intention of letting any of you suffer for my actions."

"If Megatron figures this out, we'll suffer anyway!" Ravage protested, lashing his tail in frustration. "He'll _kill_ you if he finds out you're trying to overthrow him!"

"As long as he doesn't harm you as well, it will be worth the risk," Soundwave replied. "The Decepticons lost their way long ago. Megatron has become as corrupt as the Senate was, and I took far too long in realizing it. But I see it now, and I will do whatever it takes to return us to our original path."

"But we were fighting _against_ all that slavery stuff back then!" Rumble burst out almost desperately. "How can you fix things when your first step was to enslave Starscream?"

"I merely did what I was ordered to do," Soundwave stated. "If Megatron had decided against this, it wouldn't have happened."

"Yeah, but _you_ suggested it! Frag, you _encouraged_ it-"

_"Enough."_ Soundwave's presence in the bond grew suddenly cold, and Ravage shrank down against the desktop like the change was a physical blow. He was distantly aware of the other cassettes responding similarly, but a mental tug drew his attention very firmly to his creator.

"You are confused and worried. I understand that," the telepath said harshly. "But you have to trust that I know what I'm doing. Yes, my methods are questionable. Yes, Starscream will struggle for a time. But it's a necessary evil, and a temporary arrangement. Once this is over, everything will be put right."

His mind released those of his cassettes, then his presence pulled out of the connection entirely. Ravage ducked his head and pulled away to the far edge of the desk, optics narrowed to angry red slits. "He does have a point," he said, half-growling the words. "Starscream doesn't exactly take good care of himself when he's stressed. Sooner or later someone's going to realize something's wrong, and if Hook gets hold of him, a deep scan will find any program his system labels foreign, including this one. Just how do you plan to keep this a secret?"

For a moment it seemed as though Soundwave wouldn't answer, and restlessness permeated the cassettes' side of the link. Then he said curtly, "That is why Hook already knows. He also knows what will happen if he says anything."

Ravage stared at him, mind going completely blank. Then he demanded "Does Megatron know?" at the same time that Laserbeak squawked, "Have you been _threatening_ our medic?"

"Affirmative," Soundwave replied, although it was impossible to tell which question he was answering until he looked at Ravage and said, "Megatron would not even consider reprogramming Starscream unless it could be kept a secret. He knows I have taken steps to insure that." To Laserbeak he added, "Hook is against this, but he agreed to tell no one, including his Gestalt. Threatening him was unnecessary."

He stood up, subspacing his datapad. "I have also informed Thundercracker that Starscream's mental state has taken a turn for the worse, and that I am attempting to handle it. He will help us watch him, and agreed to tell others only if they notice a change in Starscream's behavior. Hook, if asked, will tell the same story. Query: is that the end of your questions?"

It was obvious from his word choice that it had better be, so Ravage decided not to push him. When no one else said anything, Soundwave stepped around the desk and left the room. Several seconds passed as the cassettes waited for him to get out of audio range, then the small bots exchanged tired, unhappy looks.

"Frag," Frenzy muttered, slumping low in his chair and shaking his head. "He's really lost it, hasn't he?"

"It is ironic that he would use Starscream's mental health as a cover story when it's his own that's deteriorating," Laserbeak said bitterly, shifting his wings. "Although there's certainly truth to that story, considering how badly Starscream has been affected." He glanced at Ravage, and the only other cassette who had personally witnessed the Seeker's suffering sighed.

"We all knew this could happen," the felinoid murmured, settling himself on the desk and setting his head on his paws.

"Yeah, but why did it _have_ to?" Rumble demanded, kicking the base of the console in front of him. But no one had an answer for him beyond what they had all known from a young age: War was no place for an Empath. The ability to read minds could be useful, even invaluable, in a fight, but the constant presence of death and pain would eventually drive a bot to madness. The only real defense was to shut down emotionally and stop feeling anything for other people, but that was arguably an even worse option. It could, and too often did, result in everything from depressed isolation to unfeeling cruelty towards others.

There was a reason why there had never been many Empaths involved in the war, even during the early days. Those who could had fled, and most of those who stayed through choice or necessity couldn't handle the stress. Sometimes Ravage had to wonder what demons haunted the Autobots Blaster and Red Alert, the latter of whom was an identified half-breed Empath.

"Why do you think Megatron wants to keep all this a secret?" Ratbat asked, obviously changing the subject. "He doesn't need to threaten Starscream with revealing it to make him obey, so what's the point?"

"Well, he _was_ very adamant about wanting Starscream to be able to do his job," Laserbeak pointed out. "And Starscream wasn't officially demoted. I would guess Megatron still intends for him to take command if anything happens to him."

The smaller flier tilted his head. "Can he do that?"

"Under ordinary circumstances, programmed slaves can be released by the deaths of their masters," Laserbeak explained. "The program will reactive if a new master is registered, but otherwise it goes dormant and bots can go about their lives with minimal impact from the coding."

"Minimal impact, huh?" Rumble said doubtfully. "What would that mean for Starscream?"

"Self-doubt. Anxiety." The avianoid shifted his wings in a shrug. "His usual behavior, in other words. But if it served to _amplify_ his usual behavior, he'd be impossible to live with."

"'Under ordinary circumstances'," Ravage repeated softly, shifting his gaze to a monitor where Starscream was visible, sitting alone in the War Room. "But these aren't ordinary circumstances, are they?"

Once again, the answer was too obvious to warrant a reply.

* * *

Starscream had always hated officers' meetings. He hated the endless arguing and infighting which kept any real work from being done, hated the way everyone was always vying for Megatron's approval, hated the air of superiority given off by every mech who acted like the Decepticons would just fall apart without them. Admittedly, Starscream wasn't completely innocent of such behavior himself, but his case was different. The army _would_ fall apart without its Second-in-Command to keep things running smoothly, and he felt that those fights he started personally - which was most of them - were fully justified.

The thing he hated most, though, was how utterly _pointless_ these meetings were. It didn't matter what issues were brought up or what suggestions were made. Megatron would just do whatever the frag he felt like, and no trivial matter like a lack of fuel or materials was going to stop him. It was just one more example of his incompetence as a leader, and one more reason why Starscream could do a far better job.

The Seeker had barely completed the mutinous thought when a wave of guilt swept through him, merging with his ever-present anxiety in a smothering blanket of heat. He stubbornly tried to continue his silent complaints, but the painful mix of emotions and physical illness soon had him feeling dizzy and closed in, and he reluctantly backed off when it became too much. Thankfully no one had joined him in the War Room yet, so he would hopefully be able to keep his distress private.

Starscream braced his forearms on the table, leaning on it for support and shutting off his optics. It took several seconds of slow, deep ventilations to convince his body that there was no shortage of cool air, and that he was neither trapped nor suffocating. The claustrophobic feelings still didn't fade completely, but they slowly became bearable, and that was all Starscream expected by this point.

Once his spark had slowed its frantic pulsing somewhat, he reactivated his optics and tried to get his thoughts back to where they were _supposed_ to be. Another few minutes passed as he glared at the datapad which lay on the table in front of him, lips moving silently as he read out the information it displayed. But although the motions helped him focus, he still found himself unable to remember a word he'd just read when he looked away. He muttered some fully audible curses and shut off the pad, then sat back to stare moodily around the empty room.

He wanted to get this meeting done and over with. Logically he knew arriving early wouldn't get it out of the way any faster, but the more restless part of his mind insisted that if he was here, then he was one step closer to being done than he would be if he _wasn't_ here. The reasoning didn't make much sense if he looked at it too closely, but the step-by-step approach was more appealing than a second-by-second countdown, so he chose to take it at face value. Now if only someone else would show up so he could move another step closer to getting out of here.

Starscream sighed and leaned forward again, folding his arms over the tabletop and letting his wings droop. He desperately hoped that he would be able to slip away after the meeting without being held back by Megatron, but he didn't really expect it. Up to this point Megatron had done little to counter the Seeker's efforts to avoid him, but Starscream couldn't believe there was any innocent reason for that. It wasn't a matter of _if_ Megatron would take advantage of his new helplessness, only of how and when, and he didn't doubt that the warlord enjoyed making him wait.

That wait was pure agony.

The soft whoosh of a door opening brought him back to full alertness in an instant, and he quickly raised his wings along with his head. Then he stiffened and drew back, optics brightening with renewed fear as they locked onto the blue mech entering the room. Soundwave paused for a brief moment when he noticed Starscream, head tilting, then he continued forward on a curved path which very deliberately put the table between them. Starscream tracked him halfway across the room before snarling and tearing his gaze away, scowling down at his fisted hands. Metal creaked as Soundwave took his usual seat across from the tense flier, who hunched his shoulders and struggled to keep his ventilations even.

"Starscream," Soundwave greeted. Then, when he got no response, he added, "Are you well?"

Starscream jerked his head up, optics flashing. "No, I am _not,_ and it's entirely _your_ fault!" he spat. But the harsh tone couldn't quite conceal the frightened tremor in his voice, and he knew when Soundwave's visor dimmed that the telepath had picked up on it.

"We need to talk," Soundwave said. Starscream snorted and snatched up his datapad, swiftly subspacing it.

"No, we don't. You have nothing to say that I want to hear, and I have nothing to say to you period."

"Noted. However, you do need to hear what I have to say."

_"You_ don't get to decide what I need," Starscream snapped, jabbing a finger at Soundwave. "You don't get a say in _anything_ I do!"

"I wish to help you."

"I don't need _your_ kind of help."

"Megatron ordered me to help you adjust to your new programming-"

"It's not _my_ programming, and I can handle it just fine on my own!"

"You already admitted to being unwell."

Starscream flinched inwardly and looked away, cursing himself for his stupidity. As satisfying as it would be to reveal that Soundwave had literally made him sick, he couldn't risk the telepath telling Megatron and getting him sent to the med bay. "I didn't mean that literally," he said aggressively, snapping his gaze back to the other. "Sadly, I'm not surprised you made that mistake since you seem completely incapable of looking beyond the physical lately." He curled his lip. "And you call yourself a telepath."

Soundwave seemed to consider his words. At length he said, "Have you experienced any abnormal functioning lately?"

"I'm _not_ glitching!" Starscream snarled, realizing immediately what Soundwave was really asking. "But even if I was, I wouldn't tell _you."_

"You're being unreasonable," Soundwave stated bluntly, stubbornly plowing on when Starscream scoffed. "I told you I didn't have a choice in reprogramming you. Query: would you rather have been sent to Shockwave?"

"Well, let's see." Starscream leaned back in his chair to get as far from Soundwave as possible and pretended to think about it. "Shockwave is on Cybertron, which means he's far away from me. I would be able to go about my daily business without feeling like he was watching me like a fragging lab experiment all the time. Oh, and he hates me, so there wouldn't be any of this 'trying to help' slag." He snorted again and shook his head. "I _wish_ I'd been sent to him."

"You would be under surveillance no matter who reprogrammed you."

"That is entirely _not_ the point."

Soundwave sat back as well. "However, you are correct that Shockwave would have treated you as an experiment. He would not have attempted to comfort you, and may have ridiculed you for being afraid. Do you truly wish for that?"

The Seeker opened his mouth, but all that came out was a small, strangled noise as his voice finally failed him. That was a scenario he could imagine all too easily, and he couldn't honestly say he would have preferred it over what really happened. Not when he remembered Soundwave holding him during his reprogramming, both restraining him and offering comfort that, on some perverse level, he had been unable to get enough of. Starscream pressed his lips together and lowered his head, crossing his arms as his tanks reminded him that he wasn't feeling well.

"I tried to make things easier for you," Soundwave said, voice gentling as much as was possible for a monotone. "You don't want my help because you believe that I hurt you. But would you trust me any more if I had stepped back and let Shockwave have you?"

Starscream cycled a shuddering ventilation and shook his head, but not in response to the question. Other memories of that horrible night were attempting to follow the first, and it was taking all of his willpower to push them back down. Once he thought he could keep his voice steady he snarled, "You know what, you're right. I _am_ being unreasonable. After all, you only attacked me in my own quarters, broke my wing, forced your way into my mind, _reprogrammed_ me, hacked me _again_ while I was _asleep..._ What could I _possibly_ have to be upset about?"

"Sarcasm: unnecessary," Soundwave said, and Starscream jumped to his feet, slamming his hands down on the table.

"I. _Hate._ You," he hissed, backswept wings broadcasting his violent intentions as he loomed over the seated mech. "Usually the people I hate figure it out on their own, but in your case, I feel I need to spell it out. Now unless you want to end up in _pieces,_ I suggest you back the frag off and leave. Me. _Alone."_

If Soundwave was in any way unsettled by the Seeker's threatening behavior, he didn't show it. But he didn't argue either, and for a few seconds the two stared at each other in tense silence. Then the stillness was broken by a low, rough voice saying, "I fail to see any improvement in Starscream's attitude, Soundwave."

Starscream's neck protested the sharp movement when his head jolted up yet again, confirming that it was, in fact, Megatron who stood just inside the door, face set in his usual unreadable scowl. Starscream didn't like the rush of relief he felt when he saw his leader, although since he was no longer alone with Soundwave, he knew some of it was genuinely his. But he also knew the program would be driving him to stay close to his so-called master, and the reduction of his unending fear had the potential to be worryingly effective.

"Starscream: insists on being difficult," Soundwave told Megatron as the warlord approached the pair.

_"I'm_ being difficult?" Starscream repeated savagely, rounding on the telepath again. _"You're_ the one causing all the problems!"

"You should be more careful about where you discuss this," Megatron warned, pausing behind Starscream. "Someone could overhear."

A hand pressed against the Seeker's back as he spoke, sliding out along one wing in a firm stroke that was somehow both possessive and calming. Starscream flinched away from the touch before he could stop himself, but tried to cover it by jerking his head toward Soundwave. "He started it."

"Negative," Soundwave countered. "I only said we needed to talk. Not when or where."

"I don't care who started it," Megatron interrupted, fingers curling over the edge of Starscream's wing as the flier bristled. "You both continued it, and you both should have known better." He applied pressure to the sensitive aileron in his hold, and Starscream winced again before reluctantly obeying the silent order to sit down. Megatron's grip wasn't nearly as tight as it could have been though, and Starscream was uncomfortably reminded of the last time his leader had been gentle with him. But his wing still pressed into the touch when the warlord's thumb started rubbing the aileron, and he told himself it was just the program at work when he felt a tentative stirring of contentment.

"Soundwave," Megatron said in a tone noticeably harder than his actions, "is it true that you hacked Starscream while he was recharging?"

Starscream went rigid, optics wide with horror as he realized just how much his outburst would have revealed if Megatron had been someone else. But the contact with his wing remained light, almost soothing, and he clung to that as Soundwave nodded. "Affirmative. It was necessary to check his coding after reprogramming to insure it was integrating properly. However, his mind and body were exhausted from fighting me, and I couldn't wake him. I decided to let him rest while he could."

"And took the chance that he would wake up while you were in his mind."

Soundwave offered no reply, but the blunt statement didn't need one. Starscream stared at the table, disgusted by the blue mech's explanation, but mostly worried about what would happen if Megatron accepted it. That he had brought it up at all suggested that he didn't approve, but he would turn a blind optic on almost anything if one's excuse was good enough. Starscream knew _that_ all too well.

"Starscream," Megatron said at length. "How have you recharged since then?"

The Seeker hesitated, wing trembling in the larger mech's grasp. He didn't want to even _think_ about this, let alone talk about it. But the program pressed him to answer, preferably with the truth, so he finally mumbled, "Not well." Megatron didn't need to know that it had been five days since he'd even tried.

"Because you're afraid it will happen again?"

This time Starscream couldn't answer at all, even with the program pushing him to reply. He just couldn't admit to that level of weakness. But Megatron seemed unbothered by his lack of response, and merely snorted as though the silence was answer enough. "That, Soundwave, is why you shouldn't mess with sleeping bots, regardless of your intentions. And you will _not_ do it again. Is that clear?"

Only a beat of silence separated the question from Soundwave's answering, "Affirmative." But it felt ominous in a way Starscream couldn't explain, and he abruptly decided that he would rather be helpless before Megatron than alone with Soundwave again. No matter how friendly the telepath acted, there was something _wrong_ here, and he wanted nothing to do with it.

"We'll discuss this further after the meeting," Megatron said, releasing Starscream's wing as the door opened again, admitting the remaining on-base officers. "For now, we have plans to make."

Starscream was still shaken, and he felt a twinge of regret for the lost contact. But he forced it all behind a familiar mask of indifference and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. "By which you mean _you_ will reveal your latest plan for total conquest, and the rest of us just have to kill ourselves to make it happen."

His voice shook, but not enough to worry about. Given how Megatron had just been standing over him, no one was going to think much of it.

There was something that looked suspiciously like amusement on Megatron's face as the warlord took his seat, but Starscream pretended not to see it.

* * *

So Starscream _was_ still capable of speaking normally to his leader. He'd been so quiet for the last few minutes that Megatron had started to wonder. But after their last proper encounter ended with Starscream's spark in Megatron's hand, he supposed it wasn't surprising. What _was_ surprising was that the Seeker seemed to have fallen ill in the days since then. He was good at hiding it, but there were little things that spoke volumes about his current condition: Silver wings held a bit too low, flicking and twitching the way they always did when he was feeling vulnerable. Normally intense optics dimmed by distress. Just now, in touching his back and wing the way he had, Megatron had confirmed that his sparkpulse and temperature were both elevated beyond what was normal.

Little things. But when it came to Starscream, Megatron had long since learned to disregard the big, obvious displays and focus on the details.

The Seeker continued to give himself away after the meeting began, simply through his lack of normal participation. He wasn't _quiet_ by any means, but he seemed preoccupied and restless, and was certainly less energetic than usual. Megatron couldn't tell if anyone else was watching Starscream, due to the visors which covered every pair of optics, but he was quite sure Hook knew something was wrong. The surgeon supported Scrapper without hesitation when Onslaught criticised the Constructicons' attempts to educate the Stunticons, but like Starscream, he appeared to be distracted.

Of course, that could just be because Hook didn't approve of reprogramming. No one in his Gestalt did, and Megatron couldn't deny that they had a good reason. Even so, he would have to make sure Hook didn't cause any trouble. None of the Constructicons had openly opposed a reprogramming before, but everyone had a breaking point. After the mass enslavement of the Combaticons, Hook could easily be at the end of his tolerance.

It was during a curt rundown of the Decepticons' dwindling supplies from the mech in question that Starscream seemed to reach a breaking point of his own.

"We _get_ it, alright?" he snapped, flopping back in his chair. "We have no fuel, no materials, and a ship full of wasteful idiots. We didn't need a _meeting_ to tell us that. What I want to know is, what are we going to _do_ about it?"

Megatron smiled. "What indeed," he said, taking the opening his Second had unwittingly handed him. "We can import materials from Cybertron, but the space bridge requires a great deal of energon to handle shipments of the size we regularly need; energon we don't have."

"I _think_ I just said that," Starscream stated waspishly. Megatron chose to ignore him.

"Fuel, we can easily obtain," the warlord continued. "We have none to spare only because we use so much to power the space bridge. But once we have the Autobots' matter replicator in our possession, it will be a simple thing to _create_ any materials we need."

It took a moment for his words to sink in. But when they did, Starscream was the first to react.

"Are you _crazy?"_ he demanded, voice strained. "You can't _possibly_ be planning to attack the _Ark_!"

"On the contrary, Starscream, that's exactly what I'm planning." Megatron glanced at the Seeker as though bored, taking note of the effort his words had required. "Is that a problem?"

Starscream cycled a slow ventilation, possibly exercising a rare moment of self-control, but more likely buying time to phrase his argument in a way that wouldn't trigger his coding. "The Autobots outnumber us two to one," he said finally. "Their security has been steadily improving ever since Red Alert arrived on Earth. The matter replicator is fragging _huge._ And you want to just march in and _take_ it?"

"A difficult task, but not impossible," Megatron replied, turning to address the room at large. "As you're all aware, the Autobots will be attending a meeting between human leaders tomorrow. A few hours ago, Dirge sent confirmation that his Trine was spotted flying over the site. Soon after, Soundwave picked up a transmission from the humans to the Autobots, requesting additional protection."

Starscream shook his head. "What does _that_ matter if we won't even-" He stopped, optics brightening. _"We_ won't be there..."

"But the Autobots will," Megatron finished. "And if they turn out in force the way they did last time, only their weakest fighters will be left to defend the _Ark_."

"They'll be expecting something big," Onslaught mused thoughtfully. "All of our recent attacks have been mere energy raids, and it's been two weeks since the last one."

"Yes, two weeks during which our fuel reserves have run dry," Starscream commented, giving his leader a sidelong look. "If this goes badly, we have nothing to fall back on."

"Consider it incentive for everyone to do their part," Megatron said simply. "We'll raid the Autobots' stores when we relieve them of the matter replicator."

"You're banking an awful lot on this plan _working,_ Megatron."

"What _is_ your plan?" Scrapper asked with the air of someone trying to prevent an argument. It wasn't necessary - Megatron had no interest in fighting with Starscream right now - but the Contructicon's effort was amusing.

"Soundwave will go in first to shut down Teletraan-1 and take control of the security systems," Megatron explained. "Our main force will enter through the volcano's crater as soon as the Autobots' communications are down. Once inside, Blast Off, Blitzwing and the Seekers will go for the energon stores-"

"Our main objective is the matter replicator, and you're putting my unit in charge of _fuel?"_ The tense, almost choked sound returned to Starscream's voice when he interrupted, and Megatron regarded him with carefully concealed interest.

"Your unit lost us our last battle," the warlord reminded him, deliberately ignoring the reason for that. "So now they have to make up for the energon we _should_ have obtained then."

"And what about me? The replicator falls into _my_ field of experience, I should be overseeing its removal!"

_"You_ will do what you're told," Megatron said firmly. The Seeker glared at him for only a moment before his optics dimmed again and he looked away, wings lowered in defeat.

"Whatever you say, Leader," he murmured resentfully. Megatron was a bit thrown by the lack of argument, but he gladly took the opportunity to resume speaking.

"The remaining Combaticons will remain with Astrotrain while the Constructicons and I secure the matter replicator. All teams will join Onslaught's group once their respective missions are completed, but the replicator is our top priority. We leave as soon as it's loaded on Astrotrain, so anyone left behind will be on their own."

Starscream shot him a dark look but didn't speak, and Megatron decided to ignore him. He knew abandonment was a sore spot for the moody flier, but Starscream really didn't need to worry about being left behind this time. If he was as sick as Megatron suspected he was, he wouldn't even be going on this mission.

"I don't like the idea of spreading our forces so thin," Scrapper said doubtfully. "We can't count on _all_ of their strongest fighters leaving, and even weak mechs can be dangerous if the numbers are on their side."

"They'll have to spread out as well if they want to stop all of us," Onslaught pointed out. "As long as we can locate and take out their key players, the rest of them will be no trouble. This could work."

"Or it could get us all killed," Starscream huffed, staring fixedly at the edge of the table as he ran his fingers over it. "Am I the only one who realizes that the Autobots _won't_ take their strongest fighters with them? Those lumbering Dinobots would never be allowed near a large gathering of humans, so where do you think they _are_ going to be?"

Obstructionist Seeker. Megatron had no idea how Starscream could rattle off criticisms so easily one second then struggle the next, but however they were delivered, he had lost his patience for them.

"Once again, your sense of caution crosses the line into cowardice. You may be content to hide in your lab and ignore your responsibilities, but the rest of us are fighting a war, and that requires a certain amount of risk. Perhaps if you weren't so focused on yourself, you would be more useful to the Decepticons."

The shock and anger that appeared on Starscream's face were expected; the brief flash of hurt was not. But this was neither the time nor place to wonder about it. "Unless anyone else has anything _constructive_ to add, this meeting is over," Megatron said, running his gaze over his other officers. When no one spoke, he nodded and stood with a curt, "Soundwave, Starscream, with me."

He didn't check to see if they were following as he strode from the room. He knew they would be. Soundwave was still obedient, regardless of whatever he was planning, and Starscream simply had no choice anymore. For possibly the first time in all the millennia that they'd known each other, Megatron could finally trust the rebellious Seeker to do what he was told.

But for some reason, that knowledge wasn't very satisfying.

* * *

**I think Soundwave has just reached a whole new level of creepy.**

**So, I'm curious: How does everyone feel about the longer chapters? Are they too much, or preferable?**


	8. Limits Established

**Sorry about the long wait for this chapter. Apparently academic stress and a case of strep throat do terrible things to one's creativity. Anyway, the votes are in for longer chapters, so here it is.**

* * *

Doubt has me in its grasp  
I must believe  
That my wish will come true  
In the end  
It has to end  
"The Dream Seeker" - Dragonland

* * *

Soundwave watched Starscream with concern as they followed Megatron from the War Room. No matter what the Seeker claimed, his illness was obvious. The listless tilt of his wings was a clear sign to anyone familiar with fliers, and his energy field felt tired and stressed. If he hadn't been recharging enough it was possible that he was just exhausted, but Soundwave didn't think so. In the past he had seen Starscream worn out to the point where he spent most of his time in a half-asleep daze, but even then he had appeared fairly healthy. This was sickness, and considering the time of onset - along with the fact that hardlining was the easiest way to spread viruses - it was very likely that Soundwave was the one who had infected him.

He felt bad about that, but not bad enough to regret what he'd done or feel particularly guilty; guilt implied that he could have done something differently, and he'd done everything he _could_ do to protect Starscream's systems from his own while they were connected. He'd run a systems check to search for viruses before the hack, had kept his firewalls up during it, had completed his task as quickly as possible... but the fact remained that, once he'd bypassed Starscream's own firewalls, the Seeker had been completely vulnerable to anything Soundwave was carrying. Only a healthy member of the same frametype could venture so deeply into another bot's mind without the risk of making them sick, because any viruses it carried would be harmless to that frametype. That was just the way things were, and Soundwave wasn't going to apologize for it.

That being said, he _was_ sorry that Starscream had to suffer like this when he already had so much to deal with. It was little wonder he was so angry at Soundwave.

"Starscream, return to your quarters and wait for me," Megatron ordered, drawing the telepath from his musing. Starscream started slightly, as though he had been lost in his own thoughts, and looked up at Megatron.

"Why there?" he demanded tensely, though far less anxiously than he could have with so much fear in his field. "And where are _you_ going?"

"Soundwave and I have some things to discuss which don't concern you," Megatron replied, not really answering either question. "Now go."

Starscream's gaze darted quickly between the two mechs, frame rigid, and Soundwave knew he wanted to argue. After a few seconds, though, he just frowned and looked away, wings quivering subtly. When the trio reached a forked hallway he wordlessly turned down the one which led to the residential sector, leaving the others to continue on their way to Megatron's office.

"I'm not happy, Soundwave," Megatron growled once the door had slid shut behind them. _"Why_ didn't you tell me you hacked Starscream while he was recharging? Why did you do it at all?"

Soundwave bowed his head, doing his best to look contrite. "Apologies: offered. It was an error in judgement."

Megatron growled again, wordlessly this time, and stalked around his desk. "Apologies aren't going to fix the damage you've done! Starscream is hard enough to deal with when he _doesn't_ feel justified in his self-destructive behavior. How do you propose to convince him that it's safe to _sleep?"_

Soundwave knew he was technically in trouble, but even so, he couldn't help a self-satisfied smile when he replied, "The first night after his reprogramming, Starscream came to my quarters to demand answers. He fell asleep in my arms. Conclusion: he isn't afraid to sleep because of me."

Whatever Megatron had expected, it clearly wasn't that. He shook his head and started to speak, then stopped and narrowed his optics at Soundwave, simultaneously shocked and doubtful. The doubt faded somewhat as his confused thoughts agreed that if Soundwave was going to lie, he would do so with something believable, but there was still a note of incredulity in his voice when he asked, "How did _that_ happen?"

"He grew upset after asking why he deserved to be reprogrammed. I offered comfort. He accepted."

It wasn't quite true, of course, but it was close enough. Megatron didn't need to know exactly how his presence had affected Starscream, or what he'd had to do to calm him after.

Megatron stared hard at Soundwave for a long moment, emotions reined in to the point where the telepath could only feel traces of suspicion and anger, then asked, "If that's the case, what was going on in the War Room? And why is he avoiding recharge?"

Soundwave chose his words carefully. "He's still angry at me for my role in changing him, and afraid because I overpowered him. I believe he is lashing out to prove that he isn't weak. His fear of recharge might be a result of nightmares."

He felt reasonably safe in admitting to the nightmares Ravage had informed him of. After such a long war they were considered a normal part of life, and it wasn't uncommon for a single event to lead to days, or even weeks, of sleepless nights. Most bots had friends and teammates who were willing to share their berths during such times, but no one really knew what Starscream did when he couldn't sleep.

Apparently he just stayed awake, which lent new meaning to the all-nighters he frequently pulled in his lab.

Megatron continued to glare at Soundwave for several seconds before the suspicion slowly bled away, replaced by guarded acceptance, but there was still an angry tension in his field as he turned to the window behind the desk. "So he asked you why he's been reprogrammed as well. What did you tell him?"

"Nothing. By the time he calmed down, he had forgotten that he asked."

"And if he asks again, don't tell him," Megatron warned. "He doesn't need to know."

Translation: Starscream didn't need to know that Megatron had ordered this to spare his life. Well. Soundwave wouldn't tell him, but perhaps he could find a way to imply it. He could only imagine how Starscream would feel if he knew his reprogramming was Megatron's twisted idea of mercy, but it wouldn't be good for Megatron.

Soundwave's hidden smile grew slightly as he tilted his head to one side. "Do you have an alternative story?"

"Just that he would have acted out again sooner or later, and has already done enough to deserve it. He can draw his own conclusions from that."

He really didn't seem convicted enough, Soundwave decided, reaching out to nudge Megatron's mind with his own. "Both statements are true," he pointed out verbally, earning a cynical-sounding grunt.

"Yes," Megatron agreed. "That's why they make the best cover story." He was silent for a few moments, then turned to face Soundwave again. "It seems I underestimated you. However little progress you've made, it's more than I first thought."

Soundwave nodded his acknowledgement of the implicated apology. "You never paid much attention to past reprogrammings," he stated. "Suggestion: Starscream isn't the only one who requires time to adjust."

"Hm." Megatron's mouth twitched with amusement that was absent from his field. "You may be right, Soundwave. Which is why I need to know a few things about the program you used on him."

The telepath tilted his head. "What things?" he asked guardedly.

"How it promotes obedience, mostly. I've seen that it can force him to follow orders, but I need to know what methods it uses to make sure he doesn't resist in the first place. You mentioned emotional manipulation?"

Soundwave let himself relax a little. "Affirmative. This program primarily uses fear, guilt and contentment to encourage acceptable behavior. It lends itself well to obedience training based on reward and punishment, and positive reinforcement is especially effective."

Megatron hummed, optics dimming in thought. "That explains a few things," he murmured. He didn't expound on his statement, though, and Soundwave wasn't curious enough to risk detection by probing deeper into his mind. After a moment Megatron shook off his thoughts and said, "Write up the relevant information and get it to me by tomorrow morning. I think Starscream's had enough time to get used to the idea of being reprogrammed, and he might be easier for you to deal with when he stops worrying about what I'm going to do to him."

So Megatron had recognized Starscream's primary source of stress and let him suffer anyway. Somehow, Soundwave was pretty sure he would have been less disgusted if the warlord had been clueless. But all he did was dip his head again, hiding his irritation as he always did. "As you command. Do you require anything else?"

"Only that you don't take too long on the write-up," Megatron replied. "You're an integral part of tomorrow's mission, so you'll need your rest."

A growing impatience in his field told Soundwave that he was losing interest in the conversation, so the telepath nodded yet again and respectfully took his leave. He started to return to his own office, but when he came to an intersection he abruptly decided to head for his quarters instead, not yet prepared to face his cassettes again. It hurt to know that his own creations didn't trust him, but not as much as Rumble's insinuation that he had forgotten what they were fighting for.

Soundwave had never been a slave himself, unlike most of his framekin, but he had known bots who lived such lives. One particularly close acquaintance had even been programmed for it. Most of his early days as a Decepticon had been spent helping slaves escape from their masters, and after joining them openly he'd worked on the coding of countless bots to give them their minds back. He had seen coding corrupted and mutilated beyond recognition, had made repairs on bots who'd been crippled by the removal of entire programs, and had been forced to give up on those he couldn't help more times than he could count.

He, of all mechs, didn't need to be reminded of why the Decepticons began.

In light of his history Soundwave supposed he should feel worse about those he'd reprogrammed, but somehow he didn't. They were so few compared to those he had helped, and anyway, there weren't enough Cybertronians left to kill every enemy and traitor. Every life spared by reprogramming was worth the guilt, and he had long-since stopped feeling even that.

He took it to mean he was doing the right thing.

Soundwave keyed in his door code and entered his quarters as his thoughts circled back to Starscream. He had no doubt that what he'd told Megatron was true, and that a great deal of the flier's hostility stemmed from feelings of vulnerability, but that didn't explain his insistence that he'd been damaged. Soundwave knew hacking could be harmful, even painful, and had learned to use that to his advantage when collecting information from prisoners. But he also knew how to avoid damage, and he had been careful with Starscream. So why was he acting like Soundwave had tried to kill him?

Maybe Laserbeak had a point about Starscream's coding, he mused, seating himself at his desk and removing a datapad from a drawer. Maybe the Seeker's social protocols really were too glitched up for Soundwave to get through to him. In the long run it didn't matter one way or the other since he didn't need Starscream to help him willingly - technically he didn't need him to do _anything_ willingly - but he would prefer to have something positive in place between them before the final stage of his plan. If nothing else it would make Megatron's death easier on Starscream, and Soundwave really didn't want to hurt him. It was thanks to Starscream that he'd come to see how far the Decepticons had fallen, so the younger mech deserved some consideration.

With the way things were going, however, it would be easier to take an "act first, apologize later" approach, and worry about Starscream after Megatron was dealt with. Unless...

Soundwave frowned thoughtfully down at the datapad as he began to write out the information Megatron wanted. Maybe he would be best served to get a Seeker's perspective of the issue. He knew how to handle normally functioning Seekers when they were scared, but had made no allowance for Starscream's handicaps beyond repeatedly stating his intention to help, and that had clearly been a mistake. There had to be a way to get through to him, though; he hadn't wanted a Trine when he first joined the Decepticons, but somehow Skywarp and Thundercracker convinced him to join theirs. They had worked well together too, until Starscream replaced Skywarp as both Trineleader and Vice Air Commander.

If anyone would know how to deal with Starscream, it would be those two. Skywarp was neither reliable enough nor discrete enough to be involved, but Thundercracker already knew something was going on, and he wouldn't be likely to ask any awkward questions. It was the perfect solution.

Soundwave activated his comm link. "Thundercracker, come to my quarters. We need to talk."

* * *

Starscream stood motionless in his quarters, back pressed to the door, optics fixed on his desk chair. It was in its usual location, looking perfectly normal and not at all dangerous, but the sight of it still made his vents hitch and his plating crawl.

The last time he had been here, he'd kicked that chair into a wall. That it was back in its proper place now could only mean someone had been here, and they had probably been looking for him.

He pulled in a full ventilation with effort and forced himself to look away. He scanned the room for anything else that was out of place, but there really wasn't anything else to move. There wasn't anything to focus on either, and his gaze inevitably found the corner where he had spent that first night, lingering for a few painful seconds before he shut off his optics with a faint whine.

Why had Megatron sent him _here_ of all places? What was going to happen to him? The questions were accompanied by unbidden images of horrible possibilities, and the nausea he had fought to repress throughout the meeting grew along with his fear. He needed out. He needed to get away from here before something terrible happened to him. He needed-

He shoved off from the door and stumbled to the desk, yanking out one of the empty bottom drawers. Then he sank to his knees and purged into it, coughing until the already abused tubing of his throat burned. It brought no relief; after days spent struggling to keep his rations down, there wasn't any fuel left in his primary tank to bring up. Eventually his systems got the idea and settled a little, but he remained curled over the drawer for some time, venting raggedly and shivering uncontrollably.

He couldn't handle this. Being reprogrammed was bad enough without having to fight additional battles against fear and sickness, and he _couldn't handle it...!_

He didn't know how long he stayed there, just barely holding back the sobs that threatened to overwhelm him, but he slowly calmed enough to remember that Megatron could show up at any minute. He sat up reluctantly, dragging the back of one trembling hand over his mouth, then peered into the drawer to gauge how much energon was inside. Less than the half-cube he had managed to ingest earlier, so at least some of it must have gotten into his systems. A quick glance at his HUD showed that his reserve tank was still about half-full, but he was going to be in even more trouble if he couldn't refuel properly soon.

A strange whimpering sound left his vocalizer and he shoved the drawer shut, then reached for the edge of the desk and forced himself to his feet. The floor tilted violently under him, but after a few seconds his gyros stabilized enough that he could stand on his own. He _had_ to pull himself together before Megatron found him like this. Appearing weak would only encourage his leader in whatever tortures he had in mind.

Not that it mattered at this point. He didn't suppose Megatron needed much encouragement to do terrible things to him. The various possibilities began eagerly gnawing on the edges of his mind again and he shook his head to scatter them, grabbing the back of the chair for support. He couldn't think like that, not now. Not-

The hiss of the door sliding open made him jump and spin around, optics wide and vents catching. He started to relax a little when he saw that Megatron still seemed to be in a reasonable mood, then realized the emotional shift might be the program's doing and tensed up again. A good mood might make Megatron more lenient, but it could also mean that he would just enjoy whatever he was going to do more. Starscream couldn't afford to relax, even by accident.

It occurred to him as Megatron stepped into the room that he should say something, make some snide or flippant comment to hide his fear, but all he could manage was a shaky, "What are we doing here? What's going on?"

"Nothing you need to look so worried about," Megatron replied, gaze sweeping over the room before coming to rest on Starscream. "We just have some basic rules and expectations to go over now that you've had some time to get used to your new position."

"What do you mean?" Starscream demanded hoarsely, backing away before he could stop himself when Megatron moved toward him. "You've already programmed the directives. What more is there to do?" Primus, this felt _far_ too much like that horrible night...

"Programmed," Megatron scoffed quietly, as though to himself. He stopped by the desk and set a hand on the back of the chair, optics narrowing as he studied Starscream. "There's more to a bot than code. Just because you've been _programmed_ to behave a certain way doesn't mean you _will._ Not without training."

Starscream stiffened even further, wings snapping back in alarm. "You- I... Th-that isn't necessary," he stammered, flinching when his wingtips brushed against the wall behind him. He cast about desperately for something he could say to back up his claim, but Megatron spoke again before he could come up with anything.

"I may not be well-versed in the technical aspects of slave coding, but I've seen it in practice often enough to know that even coded slaves need to be taught obedience. So unless you're willing to whatever you're told, I think this _is_ necessary."

Starscream hesitated, then looked away, and on the edge of his vision he saw Megatron nod. "That's what I thought." The warlord pulled out the chair and sank into it, heedless of the fact that it _wasn't his,_ then gave a small jerk of his head. "Come here."

At that exact moment, Starscream could think of nothing he would rather do less. He was quite sure this "training" was just an excuse for Megatron to do anything he wanted to while pretending there was a good reason for it. But he didn't have the strength to resist that he'd had two weeks earlier, and it only took a few seconds for the program to force him forward. After a few stumbling steps he managed to stop just out of Megatron's reach and stood rigidly, telling himself over and over that this was close enough in an attempt to quiet the code. Megatron narrowed his optics, considered him, then motioned to the floor at his feet. "Sit," he ordered. "Or kneel, whichever you prefer."

Starscream balked, frame locking with the effort of staying still as the program once again pushed him to move. "I'm not a _pet!"_ he snarled, putting as much venom into his shaking voice as he could.

"It won't kill you to show some humility for once in your life," Megatron replied indifferently. "Now sit."

The outcome was inevitable, and they both knew it. But Starscream still held himself back as long as he could before stepping forward and sinking into an awkward sort of crouch, inwardly raging that there was a very, _very_ thin line between humility and humiliation. Megatron studied him, expression thoughtful, and Starscream met his gaze as well as he could, trying belatedly to conceal his fear. Then, without warning, Megatron lashed out, striking him across the face. Starscream yelped as he was flung to the floor, reflexively curling inward and raising an arm to protect himself from further attack. But Megatron just settled back in the chair again, and Starscream slowly lowered his arm, staring up at him with worry he couldn't even pretend was hidden.

"Consider this your first lesson," he said calmly, as though he hadn't just struck the smaller mech. "When I tell you to do something, I expect you to obey immediately. We have a problem if you can't obey even the simplest orders without resisting."

Starscream laboriously pushed himself upright, swaying and almost collapsing as the room spun around him. Once his limbs were under him again he stayed close to the floor, shoulders hunched and wings low, watching Megatron warily for additional signs of violence. "Maybe if your orders were more reasonable I _wouldn't_ resist," he suggested, bracing himself to duck away. Megatron huffed in apparent amusement.

"I don't see anything unreasonable about wanting you to approach me," he replied. "No, you would resist no matter what I told you to do, simply because you're stubborn and scared. Don't bother denying it," he added when Starscream opened his mouth to do just that. "You can try to hide it, but I know how you behave when you're afraid. And right now, I'd go so far as to say you're terrified."

Starscream scowled and lowered his head, but continued to watch Megatron on the edge of his vision as he muttered, "I suppose that makes you happy." He realized too late that he had all but admitted to his fear, but Megatron didn't react beyond regaining his thoughtful expression.

"Actually, it doesn't," he mused. "If your fear was encouraging obedience it would be useful, but if you're _dis_obeying because of it..." His voice turned slightly mocking. "Well, you're smart. I'm sure you can figure out why that's not a good thing."

Starscream raised his head again, feeling suddenly cold despite the unhealthy heat suffusing his frame. "W-what are you going to do?"

Megatron smiled, putting the nervous Seeker even more on edge than he already was. "That depends on you, doesn't it? How much are you willing to endure for the sake of resisting orders you can't disobey in the first place?"

He lowered a hand over the side of the chair and Starscream cringed away, half-expecting to be hit again, and confused when he wasn't. "I'm going to give you a simple, harmless order," Megatron said. "If you do as you're told, you won't be hurt. Now come here."

Starscream looked at the hand, which was extended slightly in his direction, then back up at Megatron, wings twitching restlessly. The program urged him to obey, but it wasn't forcing him yet, so he returned his gaze to the hand, wondering how severe his punishment would be if he refused to play along. Probably pretty severe if Megatron was trying to recondition his fear response.

He shuddered and shifted his weight, glancing once more at Megatron before hesitantly creeping forward. He knew there would be some form of contact once he'd covered the small distance, but it still startled him when the hand came up to stroke the top edge of one wing. He froze with a soft hiss, objecting to the touch, but swallowed his unease and allowed it.

"There. That's not so bad, is it?" Megatron asked in the patient, condescending tone Starscream had always hated. "A little slow, but you don't seem to have fought, so I'll forgive it... this time."

Starscream grunted and turned his head away. "This is demeaning," he grumbled, hating the touch-starved part of himself that wanted to push into the hand.

"But it proves a point," Megatron replied in that same infuriating tone. "If you do what you're told, you won't get hurt. It's really a very simple concept, as you would have realized long ago if you weren't so bent on disobeying me."

Right. Just like Soundwave "hadn't hurt him". Starscream huffed miserably and shut off his optics, unable to stop the light trembling in his wings. Maybe it was ungrateful of him, but he didn't like this gentle treatment. His ability to read people was reliant on familiarity with the behavior of individuals and, apart from the most basic gestures, he could only identify the meanings of movements and expressions that he had seen many times. Megatron was fairly consistent, so Starscream could normally judge his moods pretty accurately - even if he didn't always see the signs that it was time to shut up - but this... He didn't know what this was. It might have been a genuine attempt to calm him, but as he didn't have much frame of reference for Megatron being _nice_ to him, he just didn't know. He didn't know what to expect or how to react, and he didn't like it.

His frame liked it, though. It greatly appreciated the lack of violence and pain, and as much as he didn't want to, he found himself pushing into the soothing touch. Megatron's mouth curved up slightly, an expression Starscream couldn't hope to decipher under the circumstances, and continued to pet the shivering wing under his fingers.

"This doesn't have to be any harder for you than you choose to make it," he said, lowering his hand to trace the faint line on the pale metal which marked the now-healed break. "All I'm asking is that you obey me without question, as you should have done from the beginning. Why is that so abhorrent to you?"

His voice remained calm, even conversational, but Starscream winced as though he'd been hit again. That wasn't a question he could answer honestly, because he really didn't see himself as disobedient. Argumentive, yes, but he usually went along with Megatron's schemes, even when he disagreed with them. The problem was that he thought for himself, and he didn't think it would go over well to point out that he only argued because Megatron was always wrong. He could fabricate some reason for his behavior, but that would reinforce Megatron's view of him as a disobedient traitor, and the very idea made him feel nauseous again.

In the end he just shook his head and stayed silent, letting Megatron interpret it however he wanted. That was what he would do anyway.

But apparently that wasn't good enough this time, because Megatron's hand left Starscream's wing to catch his chin instead, forcing him to look up. The warlord leaned down, resting his other arm on one knee, and gripped Starscream's jaw more tightly when he tried to pull away.

"I asked you a question, Starscream," Megatron said sternly but still unbearably calmly. "Answer me."

That was an order, Starscream realized, spark sinking. He had to say _something_ now, even if it was a lie, but his mind was blank. He couldn't think of any explanation, true or not, for those occasions when he acted against orders. He couldn't even remember what those occasions _were,_ and when he opened his mouth, all that came out was a weak, "Why does it matter? I can't disobey now."

He tensed, waiting for the anger that would surely follow his non-answer, but after a few moments Megatron merely released him.

"That's right," he agreed. "You can't. And the sooner you accept that, the better."

He returned his hand to Starscream's wing and his expression darkened as he traced the faint line which marked the now-healed break, making the Seeker twitch. "You also need to accept what Soundwave did to you. I don't care if you hate him, but you still have to work with him, so you'll have to find a way to get along. _However,"_ he raised his voice slightly when Starscream tried to protest, "if he hurts you again, in any way, you are to tell me _immediately._ You belong to me now, and no one else has a right to touch you without my permission. Do you understand?"

Starscream clenched his jaw and glared weakly at Megatron, hands balling into fists. More than anything he wanted to refute those words, to snarl that he belonged to _no one_ and that Megatron had no right to dictate such things to him. But his anger was challenged by a tentative hope that the possessiveness meant he would be protected from Soundwave, a hope which only made him angrier because he didn't _need_ protecting, fraggit!

His internal conflict was interrupted by a sudden impact with the side of his head which hurled him to the floor again. He barely had time to register Megatron surging from the chair before a foot connected with his chest, flipping him onto his back. Then the same foot slammed down on his cockpit, pinning him. He struggled instinctively for a moment, but stilled when Megatron applied more pressure to his chest, making the glass creak ominously.

"When I ask you a question, I expect an answer," Megatron told him sternly. "Now I'll ask again: Do you understand what I just said?"

Starscream nodded quickly, silently lamenting that he'd been right about being punished heavily for minor offenses. Primus, if this was what he got just for failing to answer a question, what would happen if he disobeyed outright?

Megatron seemed unsatisfied with his answer, though, because more weight pressed down on him, and he couldn't stop himself from squirming again. _"Yes,"_ he gasped out desperately. "I- I understand!"

"What do you understand?" Megatron pressed. "I want you to say it."

Starscream groaned in mingled pain and frustration, clawing lightly at the warlord's ankle. "No one has a right... to touch me without your permission," he bit out.

The glass creaked again. "And?"

"I..." Starscream knew what Megatron wanted to hear. There was no point in pretending he didn't. But to say it out loud, even under duress, would be to officially acknowledge his new status, and he couldn't. He _couldn't._ Even if his life had already been signed away, he could still pretend it wasn't really true as long as he didn't say it. But his chest hurt and the program was pushing him, and he didn't feel well at _all..._

"I..." He turned his head away and shut off his optics, mouth working silently for a few moments. "I b-belong... to... to you."

They were just words, he told himself. Just words. They didn't mean anything. But they still burned like acid as he forced them out, and they still left him feeling hollow, as though he had lost some part of himself in their utterance.

He heard a low rumble of approval from somewhere above him, then Megatron's foot left his chest. He rolled onto his side and curled up, more in a pathetic attempt to hide than to protect himself, and didn't move when he heard Megatron kneel down beside him. It was only when a hand slid under his head and tilted his face up that he reactivated his optics, staring dully at his leader.

"That's right," Megatron said again, almost soothingly. "Do you see how much easier it is to just give in? Fighting doesn't change anything in the end, and it wastes both of our time. You'll save yourself a lot of pain if you don't resist me."

Starscream huffed quietly and looked away again, unable to care that he was pressing into Megatron's hand. After a few seconds Megatron made a vaguely amused sound and raised his other hand, stroking the side of the Seeker's head as though he really was a pet. "You'll get used to it," he said as Starscream flinched. "That's the whole point of training you, after all."

He stood up and moved toward the door, watched warily by Starscream. Once there he paused to look back, seeming to study the huddled form on the floor. "You're not leaving this room until you've gotten some recharge," he said at length. "So if you expect to join us tomorrow, I suggest you rest."

He didn't wait for a reply, which was just as well since Starscream couldn't seem to find his voice. Of all the reasons Megatron might have had for sending him here, it had never occurred to him that it might simply be because it was easier to lock him up this way.

Being sent to the brig would have been preferable to spending another minute in this room.

Starscream stayed where he was for some time after Megatron left, moving only when he found himself starting to doze off. He slowly uncurled and sat up, shifting closer to the desk so he could lean against it. The pain in his chest had faded, but his cables and joints ached from the strain of fighting his own body, and although he tried to shake it off, he could feel despair sinking its claws into his spark again.

He couldn't fight this. There was just no way to fight the program and win. It was at least as strong as he was and it didn't tire like he did. Even if he could find a way to resist, Megatron was clearly willing to use physical force to make him obey. This was going to break him, and there was nothing he could do about it.

Nothing except surrender.

He drew his legs to his chest and folded his arms over his knees, staring at the door without seeing it. If he gave in... If he stopped resisting and just did what Megatron wanted... the idea made him feel ill, but it might be his only option. Whether he fought or not he couldn't protect himself, and if he kept trying the hopelessness of it would break him, probably sooner than later. Surrendering would at least buy him some time, and maybe keep his will to escape intact long enough for him to actually do so. He _did_ have options, no matter how grim the consequences they carried were. He just had to chose one he could live with.

He snorted softly. That couldn't be too hard when his only other choice was to live like _this._ But he couldn't do anything stuck in his quarters, so he shifted to get more comfortable and shut off his optics, preparing to do as he'd been ordered and get some sleep. He could figure out his course of action later, maybe after the attack on the Autobots. It would be better to work on a plan when there was no immediate threat of deactivation hanging over him. Of course, if things went wrong and Megatron blamed him, he would probably regret holding off, but...

The rest of the thought was lost as his exhaustion finally overcame him.

* * *

Soundwave was halfway through the (slightly edited) write-up Megatron had requested when the door buzzer went off. He glanced up from his desk and sent a command to the door, then smiled to himself when it slid open to reveal a somewhat tense blue Seeker.

"Enter, Thundercracker," Soundwave said by way of greeting. He motioned to the berth as Thundercracker stepped into the room. "Sit down."

It was an offer more than an order, but one Soundwave knew Thundercracker would accept out of politeness. Sure enough, he only hesitated for a moment before moving forward and settling carefully on the edge at the foot of the berth. His wings were a held little lower than usual, showing his respect for the fact that he was in someone else's living space, but the rigid tension in the rest of his frame reflected his distaste for his current company. The feeling was mutual, but Soundwave needed informants among the Decepticons who didn't stand out the way his cassettes did. The previous Air Commander had always been willing to share information about the Seekers, but after his death Soundwave had needed a new plant. Thundercracker wasn't the best choice, but he was high-ranking and cared about keeping his framekin safe, and that was what mattered.

Well, that and he was close to Starscream.

"What did you want to see me about?" Thundercracker asked, coolly polite. Soundwave shut off his datapad and turned his chair to face the other mech.

"Primary reason: request report," he replied, deciding it would be best to ease into his questioning. "Have you noticed anything off about Starscream?"

Thundercracker shrugged. "Only that he's been dragging any fliers he can get hold of into the training room pretty much every day. Skywarp thought he was acting weird earlier, though."

Soundwave wasn't surprised that Skywarp would have been the one to notice something. Thundercracker hated Starscream too much to really see when something was wrong, which was one reason why he wasn't the best choice for a spy. "Define 'weird'," Soundwave said.

"Skywarp said he was being really jumpy and defensive. Doesn't sound too strange to me, though."

"And you've noticed nothing else?" the telepath pressed.

Thundercracker shook his head impatiently. "It would help to have some idea of what I'm looking _for._ What's wrong with Starscream?"

Soundwave paused, considering the best way to phrase his response. "His exact problem is unknown. However, I have noticed an increase in paranoia and mistrust. He has become convinced that I wish to harm him, and refuses to be near me because of it."

"Shouldn't you be able to deal with that?" Thundercracker asked dryly.

"I have rarely dealt with bots who didn't want my help," Soundwave said. "Additionally, Starscream is rather more unreasonable than most."

Thundercracker's mouth twitched. "Isn't that the truth. So what do you want from me?"

"I require information," Soundwave replied. "You have been his Trinemate for millions of years: You would know best how to deal with him when he's being difficult."

Thundercracker frowned, hands curling into fists on his thighs. "I don't know what to tell you," he said at length. "Being Starscream's Trinemate is more about tolerance than anything else."

"Noted," Soundwave said. "But you are still familiar with his more erratic behaviors. How do you get through to him when he doesn't want to listen?"

"Usually you don't," Thundercracker replied flatly. "The trouble with Starscream is that he's obsessive. Once he gets something into his head he can't just stop thinking about it, and if it's something bad, he can make it ten times worse than it actually is just by dwelling on it. If he's decided you're out to get him it's probably because you did something he interpreted as a threat, and he blew it out of proportion by thinking about it too much."

There was a question in his mind and voice as he spoke, but Soundwave ignored it. There was no safe way to explain why Starscream had become afraid of him. "Can you reason with him under these circumstances?" he asked instead.

Thundercracker snorted. "Sure, if you've got a few hours and some way to make sure he won't just attack you or walk away. Skywarp and I used to try distracting him when he started getting too worked up, but sometimes we had to restrain him and talk him down. I wouldn't advise doing the same in your case, though; he knew we weren't going to hurt him, but if he thinks you will, being trapped will only scare him."

Soundwave tilted his head quizzically. "You don't believe in exposure therapy?"

The Seeker's fists tightened as unease colored his field. "That wouldn't be a good idea," he said. "We haven't done anything like that since before Megatron started-" he caught himself as he remembered who he was talking to and amended, "before all of that started between them. I don't think Starscream could handle being helpless anymore, even if he didn't think you'd hurt him. He just... doesn't feel safe enough with people."

Soundwave considered this. What Thundercracker was saying seemed consistent with Starscream's behavior so far, especially where helplessness was concerned. He wasn't convinced that forcing Starscream to face his fears was a bad idea, but it was something to think about later. "He trusted you," he stated, curious about how Thundercracker would respond.

"I guess that's one way of looking at it," came the bitter reply. "I think it's more like he put up with us. He didn't waste any time getting away from us after he was promoted."

_After he got Skywarp's position. After he started spending time around Megatron._ Thundercracker didn't say it out loud, but Soundwave knew he was thinking it without even probing his mind. It was the root of his hatred for his less stable Trinemate, after all. But it was also off topic, so Soundwave carefully steered them back on track. "How well does he recognize intention? Can he tell whether someone intends to harm or to help him?"

Thundercracker gave a short, derisive laugh. "If he could, would we be having this conversation?" Soundwave stayed silent, unamused, and the Seeker shook his head with a sigh. "I don't know. He mostly just seems to expect the worst. When we dealt with his obsessions we'd usually pin him between us and just talk to him for awhile, and he hated that at first. But after a few times he figured out that we weren't a threat and stopped fighting so much."

"So he can learn to recognize intent," Soundwave stated. Thundercracker laced his fingers together in his lap, wings twitching.

"He used to, yeah. But again, that was before Megatron got hold of him. If we tried something like that now it would probably take a lot longer for him to realize we weren't going to hurt him."

He cast Soundwave an almost apologetic look, and the telepath sighed inwardly. He wasn't surprised that most of his trouble with Starscream could be traced back to Megatron's mistreatment, but he wasn't happy about it, either.

"One more question: Have you ever tried to calm him when he was upset or frightened?"

Thundercracker shrugged. "Yeah, but it's not easy. He gets violent when he's scared, and it's worse if he feels trapped. Physical contact helps if he'll let you touch him, but it's usually best to keep your distance and wait for him to calm down on his own. You can try talking him down too, as long as you don't threaten or argue with him."

Soundwave nodded slowly. That fit his observations as well, although keeping his distance had done no good so far. Perhaps it was time to try the opposite approach.

"Thank you, Thundercracker. You have been very helpful."

"If you say so," Thundercracker replied skeptically. "Are we done then?"

"Affirmative. We have a mission tomorrow, so make sure the other Seekers are rested."

"Yeah, sure," Thundercracker huffed irritably. Soundwave heard his unspoken complaint that such things were supposed to be Starscream's job and frowned at him before turning back to his desk.

"You should know that Starscream has fallen ill," the telepath said casually, mouth curling in satisfaction when he felt a surge of surprise in the other's field. "He may not be able to accompany us tomorrow. If he does, I need you to keep an optic on him."

"Are you sure?" Thundercracker asked doubtfully. "He hasn't been acting sick. Tired, yeah, but not..." He trailed off and Soundwave caught a flash of guilty realization, along with a brief image of Starscream in the training room, telling the other fliers what to do without taking part in the exercises himself.

"Have you been giving him grief for not participating in training?" Soundwave asked suspiciously, half turning to look at Thundercracker. The Seeker grimaced and lowered his wings.

"I didn't know he wasn't feeling well," he muttered. "Is it really bad enough for him to skip training, though? How sick can he be if he could hide it so well?"

"Starscream knows his limits, whether he chooses to heed them or not," Soundwave said sternly. "If he hasn't been training, he might not be well enough to fight. Which is why he needs to be watched if he does join us tomorrow."

"Yeah, I'll do that," Thundercracker sighed. He turned toward the door, then paused and looked back. "There was one thing that I thought seemed kind of weird, back when he was still actually training with us: He wouldn't spar with me or Dirge."

When Soundwave merely gazed silently back at him he shrugged and dipped his wings respectfully, then continued on his way. Once he was gone Soundwave reactivated his datapad and went back to his report, but most of his attention was elsewhere.

Thundercracker hadn't told him much that he didn't already know, but he had confirmed a few things. Soundwave was reasonably sure his newest idea would yield results, although it would have to wait until after the upcoming attack.

Everything would turn out in the end, he was certain of that. It would just take some patience... and possibly, a willingness to do things he would rather not.

* * *

**Sorry this chapter was so depressing. Things will get a bit better soon, I promise. In the meantime "Unleashed" now has an official playlist, which you can listen to here: **

www . youtube watch?v =eBwrbEgRhC0&amp;list =PLgLgAJkSvnxs8K2V7ykNCnpQPPQTFNGFX


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